I have another blog. I am not a blogging virgin. The problem is that I was when I started the other blog. The purpose of the other blog was to be to work through some emotions/depression that hit when my first child was born, especially from his prematurity. I also took the opportunity to update on the developments of P, said son. Because I intended to write about “The Boy,” I sent out the address to all my relatives. The ones that live farther away in particular were thrilled about the opportunity to hear near-daily updates about him.
That’s where I made my big mistake. I couldn’t feel comfortable working through emotions, especially the depression I was so embarrassed about, when I knew everyone from my mom to my husband’s co-workers (and even one ex-crush) were reading. The other blog is truly only about my son, with occasional glimpses into my feelings, and then only the cheesy, sappy ones that everyone expects a mom to write about.
Then as the depression started to abate on its own, I found more reasons to be irritated with my blog. Ok, one in particular: my mother-in-law. I love her, of course, but as MILs are prone to do, she grates on my nerves sometimes. I found myself wanting to vent about her but being unable to do so, as she is one of my daily readers. How can I rant and vent when everyone I want to rant and vent about will read what I have to say about them? I am so worried about offending anyone that I don’t dare to write what I really think or feel if there’s even the slightest chance it will hurt feelings.
So now I have a secondary blog, one I insist on keeping anonymous. I can say what I want if nobody knows who I am, right? And even if I am criticized, I’m hoping it won’t hurt as much, like they are merely criticizing my blog persona, not me. Yeah, I’m scared, and I’m hiding, but at least I will finally be free to say exactly what I feel.