October 30, 2006
Suddenly I’m tempted to abandon this blog instead of the other one. The one situation I never expected to happen has, and now I see I should have expected it.
I’m left without a place to truly leave my inner thoughts, and I suppose they must remain inner thoughts for the time being. I love the list of links I have here, though, so I won’t leave you altogether. I guess I’ll just post an innocuous post here and there, but don’t expect the honesty and frankness I’ve given you in the rest of the posts.
October 30, 2006
Actually, what would it be if I’m regretting something I typed, not something I said out loud? Foot in keyboard?
On my other blog, the one that the whole family reads, I’ve spent the week explaining and re-explaining what I meant in previous posts. I’ve hurt feelings unintentionally and caused people to worry about us.
(Interestingly enough, everybody offended or worried is related to my husband. I think the pattern may be saying something.)
I don’t want to get into any particulars to protect the semblance of anonymity I have left, but here’s one of the issues. The phone rang this afternoon, waking up all three of us from afternoon naps that were desperately needed. It was M’s dad who had heard from M’s grandma that I’d indicated on the blog that M was really, really sick. Of course that’s not at all what I’d said, but somehow it still worried everyone.
I don’t like when my blog is causing all sorts of problems. That’s not the purpose at all. I’ve been feeling really blah about that other one for a long time anyway. I never say anything interesting anymore, and what I do say is so awkwardly worded that I’m never proud of my writing there. It just provides a PJ fix for all the family, as long as I keep posting pictures regularly.
But now part of me wants to abandon it. I don’t like having my words so often misinterpreted and used against me or M. I don’t like unintentionally starting fires all over the place because people can’t figure out what I mean. It’s such a shame because I like blogging, but so many people have ruined it for me.
No matter what I decide, I’ll keep this blog up for now. M’s family seems to be the main problem right now, unfortunately, but they don’t read this blog, so I’m not expecting any of the same issues to crop up here, at least not any time soon.