Sorry about last night’s post. Can you believe I actually used such lofty words as “integrity” and “responsibilty” in reference to my blogging? Sheesh. I’m actually embarrassed. Thanks for not saying anything to put me in my place. I’m tempted to delete the post and get my humiliating words out of public view. I won’t, though. It might violate the integrity of my blog. Yeah, and don’t miss that sarcasm.
Really, though, I’m not deleting it because I find it interesting to have proof of my ever-changing views of myself. The more mature me of today always blushes at the naive and immature ideas I had yesterday. I’ve recognized this since elementary school even, and now I finally have concrete proof of my increasing maturity, from one day to the next. It’s kind of cool really, even though I am still embarrassed about yesterday.
Well, I was supposed to start earlier this week. I’m a bit amazed at my nonchalance about the whole not-starting thing this time. I haven’t been analyzing every little detail, wondering if that’s the first sign I’m pregnant. I haven’t gone out to get a test. And that’s all with not ever acting like I really expected to start this week.
I have three possible reasons for not starting. Either my body hasn’t readjusted back to normal yet from the birth control, or I’m off because I’m still breastfeeding (although only barely). Or I’m pregnant. I don’t feel pregnant, so I’m betting on one of the first two. It’s just too bad I’m still so hormonal. Maybe I’m not really hormonal, but because I expect to be about now, I’m using that as an excuse to give in to crazy emotions.
I figure I’ll give it another week or two before I do any testing this time. That will give my body time to start if it sticks with the intervals it has the last few cycles. I just can’t bear to test any earlier and be disappointed. I suppose if lots of pregnancy symptoms crop up sooner than that, though, I’ll cave and test early. Still, not likely. I predict that I’m in for another month of lots and lots of sex.