I’m fresh out of ideas again, and today was a boring day. So I think I’ll introduce something new. Without giving any firm clues as to my identity, I’d like to let everybody know a little more about me. Actually, since none of you really know me anyway, I might as well let it all hang out and tell you all the things about me that nobody (or at least very few people) really knows. I’ll try to do this regularly, hence the name Confession Thursday.
Why Thursday, you ask? Why not?
I’ll start off my first confession with a biggie.
PJ was born almost five months after M and I got married. Granted, he was a preemie, but…well, I know you guys aren’t exactly stupid. It doesn’t take long to realize that everything wasn’t exactly kosher there.
(Side story: The family that lived above us in our first apartment as a married couple claimed to also have had a preemie. The dad told his story about their perfect three-year-old daughter who was born a full three months early, at a mere 6 1/2 pounds. He was so grateful that she hadn’t had to stay in the hospital at all. Um, yeah. Until his recent religious conversion, he’d been in and out of prison for years. Just because he got God doesn’t mean he got smart.)
I’d sworn since high school when I learned about the horrors of sex–STDs, unwanted pregnancy, etc–that I would abstain until I was married. My religious convictions helped make the decision easy. Despite many opportunities to give up my virginity throughout college, somehow I escaped each time. Finally M came along, and I agreed to marry him. Even though we weren’t technically married yet, I managed to convince myself it was close enough. You can see how well that worked. I was nearing the end of my first trimester on my wedding day, and by some miracle nobody guessed the secret I was hiding under my slender white gown.
Of course, we let the word out in the first few weeks following the wedding. We weren’t about to pass the kid off as a full-sized preemie (like our neighbor had), and we were even more glad we did when everybody would have expected him to have died if he had been a honeymoon baby and born when he was. That would have been tough to explain away.
So I guess technically this isn’t any great secret. Anybody who knows me well enough in real life knows of the circumstances of PJ’s conception. But I tend not to exactly announce that fact to new people; I shy away from the topic altogether. I know this isn’t uncommon at all anymore to have a child conceived out of wedlock, but with my background, it is not only uncommon but also the source of great shame. That’s why I tend to hide the fact, and why it’s worthy of being my first confession.
Does anybody else care to join me in Confession Thursday? If you don’t care to reveal your identity, just post a comment as anonymous. Or if you want to blog it instead, leave me a link and I’ll send people there to read yours too.