Can’t Let Myself Hope

Aunt Flo still hasn’t visited. I still feel like I could start any second. Every time I go to the bathroom, I’m expecting to find out she’s come. But she hasn’t.

Last night I got a couple of sudden and random nausea spells. Oh, and dizzy spells (not at the same time, thank goodness). And without warning, when 7:00 came, I was suddenly so completely and totally exhausted that I could barely keep my eyes open.

I have logical and reasonable explanations for everything. Still, somewhere deep inside a part of me is starting to hope that I could be pregnant. I’m doing everything possible to squelch that hope, though. My gut feeling is that I’m not pregnant, and I don’t want to let myself hope and then be disappointed again.

We have a plan about it now. This weekend we’re taking a day trip to meet up with the in-laws. If by chance I was pregnant, that would be a great time to tell them. So if I still have possible pregnancy symptoms on Saturday morning, I’ll test before we leave. If I can wait that long, that is…