A Day of Frustration

February 28, 2007

Please forgive this post that I know already will be a long, rambling rant. I hate being this negative, but I’m just in one of those moods. I’m having trouble finding the silver lining today.

To start with, I’m having a particularly yucky day. I know part of it is due to being up so late last night–another rant–and the subsequent lack of sleep. Knowing the reason for the ickiness doesn’t make it go away, though. The worst seems to be over for the moment, as I was finally able to eat something a few minutes ago. Yes, the first food in my mouth all day was after 2:00. And I had to fight to keep those few bites down. Goodness, I’m ready for the second trimester.

Okay, about last night…it actually started yesterday morning. I woke up with a headache. No “safe” medicines get rid of my headaches, so I decided to just wait it out. By late afternoon, the mild headache was throbbing, and I knew I had to try something. I turned to caffeine as a non-medical remedy. It usually works better than most medicine anyway. The problem is that I haven’t had caffeine at all in months, long before getting pregnant. I had half a cup of weak tea and then gave up. Half a cup! It dulled the headache a little, and I hoped that by having so little it wouldn’t affect my sleep. Obviously that didn’t happen. I grew increasingly frustrated as each hour passed and I was still awake. It was after two this morning before I felt the least bit drowsy. I don’t do well on that little sleep normally, much less when I’m pregnant. I want a nap, but I know if I get one, I’ll have just as much trouble sleeping again tonight.

I’m also frustrated because PJ’s first trouble-free night in his toddler bed was a fluke. We fought him for three hours last night to keep him in bed, with me pushing the “no lifting” limits repeatedly, before we just gave up. We waited until there was only quiet in his room and then crept in to move him to bed while he still slept. He took his morning nap on the floor, and I suspect his afternoon nap is going the same way. I have no idea how to keep him in bed. I don’t have the patience–or the physical strength–to deal with this right now.

And did I mention that I puked again yesterday? As bad as the nausea has been the last few weeks, I’ve managed to keep from actually vomiting. But yesterday it hit while I was in the shower, and I couldn’t choke it back. One whiff of the clean shower smell (before even pulling out shampoo or soap) and I was done for. Yeah, I’m not showering today. M can just put up with a stinky me. That was also the first puke this pregnancy with actual food in my stomach. Those are so, so, so, so much worse.

I hope we baby-proofed PJ’s room well enough. I hear him thumping in his room right now. I’m scared to find out what he might be getting into. He is so sleep-deprived right now after staying up three hours late last night, not napping very long this morning, and refusing to sleep now. I wonder if it would be bad to give him some Tylenol to encourage him to sleep better. I might if I didn’t think he would fight that drowsiness as much as he must feel right now.

And the worst frustration is that my other blog–all about PJ–hasn’t seen a word of this toddler bed drama. I vowed not to write about that stuff here since that’s what the other blog is devoted to. But my MIL doesn’t know about the bleeding or the pelvic rest or the toddler bed, so I can’t write about it on the blog she reads. It saddens me that my son has hit such a huge milestone and only my parents and you guys know about it. I hate that my MIL is starting to miss important events in his life because of her own demanding, manipulative ways. The worst part is that when she finds out something major happened that she didn’t hear about right away, she’ll blame us and try to make us feel guilty about it. This situation is really testing my patience.

Okay, I just put PJ back in his bed, and the funniest thing happened. I was scolding him for crawling out of bed again, complete with finger-wagging. I was really getting into it when from his position in bed (for the moment) he lifted his finger and wagged it back at me, smiling the whole time. I think my uncontrolled laughter may have undermined the lecture, since I already hear more thumps from his room. This may be a very long afternoon.

Taking the Plunge

February 27, 2007

Part of the reason for my frustration last night was due to M. I’d been thinking all day about ways to work around this whole pelvic rest issue, but M was letting it overwhelm him. When he heard the words “pelvic rest,” he flashed back to the last pregnancy when he was forced to take care of me. The never-ending nausea combined with the scares that led to pelvic rest kept me pretty much bedridden, and I did almost nothing for myself. M immediately assumed that would be the case again, and how he had a toddler to factor in as well. He was overwhelmed and not ready to even think about our situation at the time.

On the other hand, I heard “pelvic rest,” shrugged because it’s what I expected, and started working out solutions to the problem. I never once thought about what M might think because I was too busy creating ways to still take care of PJ despite the restrictions. It was a massive failure to communicate. Once we were finally able to talk it out, then the action began.

Despite the dismal results of my research, M wanted to check out the crib we had to see what it would take to convert it. Even though PJ had been in bed for hours. So we woke him up to see what we thought about his crib as a toddler bed. PJ was remarkably content being awakened in the middle of the night. Although we were wary of how well protected that side of the bed would be, it looked like an easy fix, so we took the plunge and converted his crib in the middle of the night. I guess M finally understood that we couldn’t sit around trying to decide forever.

Naturally the easy conversion wasn’t nearly as easy as it originally looked, especially when one of us had to be chasing a toddler around at the same time–and I’m not really supposed to lift PJ or the heavy parts we needed to put into place on the crib. We also found out mid-conversion that it probably wouldn’t convert back to a crib very easily if the toddler bed didn’t work as planned. Too late to turn back, we shrugged and kept going. By the time we finally finished, PJ was quite ready to go back to bed. He was definitely weirded out by the missing side on his crib and sat leaning over the edge crying for a long time while I lay on the floor next to his bed. Eventually he gave up. It’s like all of a sudden he decided to give it a try. Lying down, the bed looked familiar to him, so he was perfectly content almost immediately. From there on, he slept like a pro all night.

The “bed rail” that was provided only sticks up a couple of inches from the mattress, so we’re less than impressed, but as there was no better solution, we decided to just see how he would do. We left pillows and blankets and all sorts of soft stuff on the floor next to his crib so that if he rolled or crawled out, at least he would have a soft landing. It turns out that for the first time, I’m glad for his naturally timid nature. I’m certain the only reason he’s not walking yet is that he’s too scared to try it, the same reason it took him so long to crawl and hit every other milestone. Last night, he was too scared to try going over the side, and I think that timidity will continue until it’s not even a temptation for him any longer. I’m starting to be very glad that we decided to try him in a toddler bed as early as we did. At least that part of the plan works fine.

Back to Square One

February 27, 2007

I’ve spent the afternoon and evening scrutinizing my idea to move PJ to a toddler bed. After much research into bed rails, toddler beds, and the like, I have determined that I need a new solution. I could use the crib we have, converted into a toddler bed. It is low to the ground, familiar surroundings for PJ, and is a cheap option. Unfortunately, it does not come with any bed rails. Since PJ can’t even walk yet, I’m quite concerned about him rolling out of bed. I doubt he could crawl back in if he rolled out.

Therefore, I looked at all the options for bed rails I could find. Several sound quite sturdy–until I read the reviews. Embedded somewhere in each of the list of reviews was someone quite frustrated because it does not work on crib mattresses. The instructions apparently clearly say not to use on toddler beds because they also use crib mattresses. (Huh? Isn’t the point of bed rails supposed to be so they can be used on beds intended for kids who aren’t ready for “normal” beds yet?)

Finally, finally, I found one bed rail at one site that clips on the mattress, not the box spring (nonexistent with crib mattresses). Again, the directions apparently advise against using on a crib mattress, but since it technically fits, somebody tried it of course. They said it works, as long as you don’t mind that the weight of the bed rail tips the mattress to one side. That particular bed rail has some other possible issues as well, but could possibly work okay anyway, as long as you don’t mind that your mattress doesn’t lie flat.

So I looked at toddler beds. I was specifically looking for one with either a sturdy bed rail that extended pretty much the length of the bed or one that could accommodate a twin mattress. Why not go all the way if it would be safer because we could use a good bed rail on it? It can be done, if we’re okay with some corny theme bed that is way overpriced–not including the mattress. Full bed rails just aren’t done on toddler beds.

We can still try converting our crib and just accept the fact that PJ will probably end up on the floor the first few nights (probably intentionally at first) and we’ll have to either rescue him or let him sleep on the floor. Or we could get the one bed rail that technically works but tilts his mattress. Maybe we can buy heavy stuffed animals to pack in the far corners to help balance it. Or we can buy an official toddler bed and hope the half-bed rail is enough to keep him in bed. Other than openly defying the doctor’s orders not to lift him, I don’t know what else to do.

It also turns out that my plan to keep one joint of the pen tied together won’t work. The hinge parts keep getting in the way of any tying strategy, and it’s much too loose for me to feel comfortable with. PJ loves to cruise along the sides of the pen and bounce up and down while holding on to them and even shake them violently when he thinks he’s not getting enough attention. That weak joint would not stand up to that stress. Tomorrow I’m going to try opening it and closing it the right way to let him in and out, but I’m worried that’s going to be too difficult. I’m not sure what we’ll do about playtime if it doesn’t work.

I’m reluctant to go to any great lengths to keep from lifting him if the pelvic rest only lasts two weeks. I don’t want to buy baby gates (two normal ones and one long one) to close off our living room–not to mention all the work it would take to move out the bookcases and breakables on our side tables. It would all be useless if in two weeks I’m feeling better from the morning sickness and the pelvic rest is officially over. I just don’t know how to temporarily adjust to our new situation without putting PJ at risk or risking the life of the unborn baby.

I’m still open to ideas, actually desperate for them. Please be thinking about my problem if you find yourself with some extra time (yeah, right…).

Now What?

February 26, 2007

I called the doctor this morning, first thing after I woke up and took my Zofran (priorities…). I didn’t even pee first, and anybody who’s been pregnant knows that’s a big deal. It turns out my doctor is out of town for the week, so they weren’t eager to cram me into the other doctor’s already-jam-packed schedule. After getting all the info about what kind of bleeding it was, how long it lasted, the problems with the last pregnancy, etc, they decided I probably wasn’t an emergency case. I will just keep my appointment with my doctor in two weeks instead of going in for a last-minute appointment today. That was fine with me; I wasn’t eager to go sit in a waiting room with a hyper toddler for hours.

Unfortunately, I am on some strict precautions until then. If anything unusual happens, I am to call right away, and they will fit me in after all. And I am on “pelvic rest.” I’ve never had it fully explained to me, even though I was put on pelvic rest for part of the last pregnancy too. The only part I remember is the no sex part, of course. (I’ve been too sick most of the time for that to be an issue anyway.) I’ve already been taking things easy most of the time because of the morning sickness, so I suspected very little would have to change.

And then I thought to ask about lifting heavy objects, like a non-walking toddler. It turns out his scrawny twenty pounds (-ish) are too much for them to feel comfortable with me handling. I can sit with him on my lap, but I’m forbidden to lift him in and out of his crib or high chair or play area. Obviously I broke that rule twice already this morning since calling. How else am I supposed to change his diaper and feed him breakfast? I’m way too vertically challenged to be able to do all that without lifting him out of his crib.

So I am now desperate for suggestions to modify our life to minimize any lifting. Here’s what you need to know:
1. PJ is an expert crawler, although he can’t quite walk yet. He is also very disobedient when given free range and insists on crawling to places that are off-limits.
2. He spends much of his play time in a large fenced-in corner of our living room so that I don’t have to chase him when I’m pukey. The pen has no gate, so I have to step over it or lift him in it.
3. Our house isn’t baby-proofable, at least not with any reasonable amount of effort. It is a huge open floor plan that would require many, many baby gates to block off an area large enough for both of us to comfortably spend the day.
4. While he is a good sleeper, PJ will NOT sleep at all unless he is in his crib, preferably alone in his room.
5. I don’t know anybody with time off during the day who can come help. Part of this is due to my hermit-like tendencies, but it’s a little late now to force a relationship with someone just to ask them to come help out.
6. My MIL still wants to take PJ for an undetermined amount of time until I can properly care for him again, and this must be avoided at all costs.

Even if your idea sounds silly, I want to hear it. I’m at a loss what to do, so maybe one of you can see a way out of this that I haven’t thought about.

Update: I had a brainstorm, but I have no clue whether it might work. PJ’s crib is convertible, which means that theoretically it should turn into a toddler bed relatively easily. Do you think a kid this young (nearly 17 months) who can’t yet walk could sleep in a toddler bed? What if I kept one of those rail things along the open edge unless I was getting him in or out of the bed? He should be able to crawl up to it and in it with little assistance from me. I’m just more worried about him finding a way out when we’re trying to keep him in. As far as his pen is concerned, I can unhook one corner and tie it shut or something so that PJ can’t open it but I can open it like a gate more easily. Then I won’t have to lift him over the top. And the feeding problem is easy to solve. We have a booster seat thing to take with us to restaurants that I can set up on the floor. It’s low enough that he should be able to get into and out of it easily, but the straps keep him where he’s supposed to be until we’re done eating. What do you think? Is it feasible, especially the toddler bed part of it?

Better News

February 25, 2007

As the day progressed yesterday, the little bleeding there was started to taper off. By bedtime, it was gone altogether. The cramps, too, disappeared in the middle of the afternoon. There is no way I actually miscarried yesterday. The bleeding could still be a sign of something wrong, but I doubt it is.

I felt differently about the nausea all day yesterday too. Every time it went away for a little while, I started to worry. What if I wasn’t nauseous because the baby was dead? Then I’d start feeling icky again, and I actually felt relief at it. I most certainly felt pregnant still. I was just glad that the nausea never got worse than what I’ve gotten used to the last few weeks. I know sudden severe nausea or vomiting could indicate a problem as well. It felt like the bleeding was most likely just a fluke.

Still, I’m being cautious today as well. M has been running around like crazy doing dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc, since we decided it was best if I take it easy. In the meantime, I’ve been crashing on the couch, watching awful weekend TV, blog-surfing, and catching regular naps. M has even taken over nearly all of PJ’s care. I’ve helped feed him a few times, but otherwise I have had no responsibilities whatsoever. We’re worried that lifting him too much might not be good for me.

I feel lazy–and guilty for being lazy. I hate watching M get stressed out while he’s doing all my chores. I wish circumstances could be different. I wish I could be lazy and feel content to be so. I’m looking forward to when my mom comes to help out for a few days in March. For some reason I don’t feel as guilty when she helps out.

What Else Would You Expect?

February 24, 2007

I woke up this morning (afternoon?) to discover that I had started spotting. It’s extremely light, and not the scary bright red spotting. It was accompanied by cramps, though. I tried to remain calm. This wasn’t at all like it was last time, and I knew it wasn’t enough bleeding to signal a miscarriage. Still, as the cramps continued to get worse, I started to panic. I gave in and called the doctor’s emergency line after about an hour.

I fully expected the doctor to tell me what I already knew, that there wasn’t much that could be done either way. I could either try to wait it out at home or go to the ER, wait all afternoon, and finally get a sonogram that would tell me whether I was still pregnant or not. Neither option would save my baby’s life if my body had decided to miscarry. I was reluctant to bother the doctor when I knew what they would say, but I wanted some reassurance. If it had been the middle of the night, I doubt I would have called and bugged the doctor. But in the middle of the day, why not?

Sure enough, she told me pretty much what I thought she would. She also verified that something like 80% of the time, bleeding like this is insignificant. The fact that I had so much bleeding during my last pregnancy raises those odds considerably. I was quite comforted when I hung up. I’m staying at home and will likely go see the doctor on Monday to make sure everything’s okay. If things get any worse before then, I’ll probably go to the ER.

Please be praying for me. The cramps aren’t going away, although they have gotten better than they were at first. I’m still worried that something is wrong. This seems about right after yesterday’s post, doesn’t it?

New Template

February 24, 2007

I know, I know. Yes, I changed things again. Shut up. I got bored. Do I like this one? I don’t know. I don’t have as many color options as before…basically none that look halfway decent. That alone may make me change back pretty soon. In the meantime, does anybody have any opinions? Maybe the pink will be a good omen that I’m baking a girl in here.

Oh, completely random, but speaking of that, I found out today that my college roommate is having a little girl. She’s elated, and I now have an excuse to buy a frilly dress now and then, even if I have a mini-PJ in here as I expect. Good news all around!

Confession, um, Friday

February 23, 2007

Nope, Grey’s last night was not worthy of a full blog post. They did what I figured they would, and it was actually disappointing. When it ended, all I could think was, “Is that all?” Why couldn’t she have had some brain damage at least, possibly affecting her speech for a few episodes. She’s a much better actress when she doesn’t have any lines. Sigh. Oh, well.

Instead I’m forced to find words for what I’ve been feeling lately, which isn’t easy when I’m having a rough, nauseous, super-emotional day. I’ll give it a shot anyway since I kind of promised.

I’m finding that this pregnancy is much more scary than the first. I was plagued by problems with PJ, certain that I’d miscarried him twice, yet still I’m more worried about this so-far perfect pregnancy. Every day that passes without any emergency only increases my worry. I figure I’ve pushed my luck already and that the worst must be coming soon.

When the nausea goes away for a little while, I am relieved that I can feel halfway normal for a little while, but there’s a nagging worry in the back of my mind that the symptoms are going away because there’s something wrong with the baby. There’s something kind of nice about feeling the familiar nausea when it returns. I can’t make myself talk about the baby like it’s actually going to make it; I always have to amend my statements about the future with something like “if everything goes as planned…”

The problem is not that I’m struggling with the reality of the situation. Once I saw the heartbeat in that first sonogram, I’ve been in love with this little one. In fact, it’s more real to me than PJ was at this point. I’m in love with an actual little baby, not just my romanticized idea of one. That means that if I start counting my chickens now, I’ll be so much more devastated if something happens. This is my way of protecting myself from possible pain, I think.

I read somewhere recently that as many as one in five pregnancies ends in a miscarriage. I can count five more people I know personally who are also pregnant right now. According to those odds, at least one of us should miscarry, right? And all but my SIL (the good one, whose baby I want almost as much as my own) and I have made it to the safer second trimester already. I feel like that means my odds for miscarrying this one have greatly increased. (Don’t worry; I fully understand the nature of statistics like that, and that they don’t imply at all that my chances have really increased in this situation.)

I had heard or read when I was pregnant with PJ that second-time moms do typically worry more. At the time, that made no logical sense to me. They’d already been through it once safely, so why should they need to worry as much the second time? I also couldn’t believe that anybody could possibly worry more than I was already. Now I get it. Now that I know all the things that could possibly go wrong and have experienced several of them, the dangers of pregnancy are as much more real to me as the love is.

I wish I had a great conclusion to this. I wish I could say I know not to worry so much (I do), or that I just need to think positively. None of this actually helps. The worry is just something I need to get used to, another part of this pregnancy that will probably extend into the baby’s life.

Random Jumbled Thoughts

February 22, 2007

Where to even start?

1. My mom and I discussed my MIL the other day. I was surprised that she has had a lot of the exact same thoughts about her that I have, even the worry that she might try to get custody of PJ. I wasn’t that scared until I found out that other people thought that too. Now my entire life is about proving I am an adequate mother, morning sickness or not. Isn’t that an awful way to live? I’ve toned down my other blog tons, only blogging on my best days, when I will only say positive things. I need to do whatever I can to keep from giving her ammunition against me. It makes me awfully glad to have this site where I can say what I actually feel, not some super-edited version of the truth.

2. As my comments have greatly increased over the last few days (thanks, guys!), I have been reminded of my own comment-slacking. I’m obviously shy enough that you probably wouldn’t expect me to go around leaving comments everywhere all the time, but I’ve gotten really bad about it, rarely leaving any comments anywhere. I think part of it is just that I don’t feel up to writing something most of the time I’m checking blogs. I’m going to make an effort to comment a bit more often now, but please don’t be offended when I don’t. I’m still reading and enjoying, I promise!

3. Grey’s Anatomy is on tonight! Ican’twait. Ican’twait. Ican’twait.

4. I totally intended to make today’s post all about American Idol from the last two nights, but life got in the way last night and I was only able to half-watch the show. I saw enough to give a relatively educated opinion as to who would get voted off tonight, though. For the guys, I’m guessing Sundance and Blake, although I have about three more in mind who are just about as likely to go. It was a tough call because they sucked as a whole. The girls surprised me with how many of them were good performers. Amy and Antonella are going, though, at least based on talent. Antonella had no business making it this far in the first place, but as the judges pointed out, she is hot. She might get more votes than she deserves because of that. I also formed a much better opinion of who will probably win. LaKisha is this year’s Ruben. Barring anything bizarre happening, she’s a shoo-in to win. Maybe next week I’ll have a better idea who I think will come in second. I’m down to about three or four possibilities. I might also give a more detailed explanation of why I think so. I do have sound reasoning behind my guesses (I’m way too left-brained not to) and wish I felt like going into all of it today.

5. As more and more of you are jumping on the youyou bandwagon (and please jump–I love reading them!), I’m finding that the most flattering ones tend to be the ones that say how much they love reading your blog, especially if it’s because it’s funny. And I realized that I have no chance for those. I’ve always thought of myself as a funny person, but it never comes out in my writing. I’ve tried a few times to write something amusing, and once or twice it actually worked, but in general my posts are much too serious. I think from now on I’m going to make a concerted effort to inject more humor into my posts. Of course, if I do, you may find my writing deteriorates even more. It may just reek of trying too hard. We’ll see. I just hate that because of the way I write, you tend to get a very one-sided view of my personality. I’m funny in real life! I promise! I don’t always just whine and complain (not usually).

6. And how’s this for a segue? You may have noticed I’ve been trying awfully hard not to just whine and complain lately. I don’t want this blog to be a chronicle of my morning sickness. I can’t just abandon the topic altogether because it’s kind of the focus of my life right now, but I am more than a puke machine and you deserve to read about what else is going on in my life. Even if it’s just TV. Is my one-post-a-week about the baby a little more tolerable? If anything monumental happens, of course I’ll break that rule. But otherwise, you can count on my not-so-subtle references to it in almost every other post during the week to get your fill of hearing about it. Is that fair?

7. I’ve had a good Confession Thursday post writing itself in my mind for a while now, but I felt compelled to get all these other random topics on “paper” first. That means I’ll probably cheat and do a Confession Friday tomorrow, as long as Grey’s tonight doesn’t require a post of its own tomorrow. Stay tuned. That ought to be good fun to see how I try to put humor into a Confession Thursday/Friday post.

The Key

February 21, 2007

Edited to add the blog name to any I have linked here that I had only the author’s name. Enjoy surfing new blogs!

I’ll let some of you stop guessing already and post a key to the youyou from the other day. In some I’ll give you the name of the blog and in others, the name of the author. Sorry for the inconsistency, but this is how I think of you guys.

1. We may have a lot in common, my brother and friends included, but more and more I realize we’re nothing alike. I worry that every day is the one you hurt my brother. My SIL (not linked here)
2. You write the way I always wish I could, and I envy you. Dooce (of course)
3. Your way of life isn’t one I completely approve of, but I love reading your blog because you’re a great mom anyway and have adorable kids. Madd Babies
4. You started this whole youyou craze (out of the blogs I read), but I’m afraid to identify myself on yours, more because I’m afraid I’ll be right than wrong. Emma in Canada from A Day in the Life of a Terrible Mother
5. Your blog recently went private, and I miss it; I’m too shy to ask for an invitation since you never even knew I read it. Silly Hily
6. Your daughter is brilliant; it gives me hope for all preemies to read about her developments. Tonya from A Mother’s Journal–another of course
7. I miss your blog and our chats. We have a lot in common and I hate that I haven’t prioritized our friendship. Mandy from Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice
8. I wish we’d become better friends when we knew each other in real life; maybe I wouldn’t be so jealous of all your current friends now. nope, you don’t get this one
9. I dreamed the other night that you had died, but your family was coping fine without you. I still missed you, though. this one either
10. You have the same name that I’ve always wanted to name a daughter. Hannah from Teatopia.net
11. You seem like a great person, but I have trouble reading your blog sometimes because of the spelling and grammatical errors. nope
12. Your blog was so clever and witty and hilarious. Why won’t you take a few minutes once a year to blog anymore? my brother’s (not linked here)
13. You are not that much better than everybody else because you claim to have a stronger faith in God, and it turns people off because you come across that way. a college friend’s (not linked here)
14. You were a hypocrite and snob in real life, and you are in your blog too. Why do I still check your blog regularly? another college friend not linked here
15. I feel a real connection to you because I grew up in a family with four kids, and you’re raising your own brood of four. Emmakirst from Emmakirsten’s Journal
16. I was so jealous of you when you got pregnant, even though you had been trying much longer than I had, but now I’m happy for you and wish you the best in the rest of your pregnancy. Hoping from Making a Life
17. Your blog is hilarious, but I’m scared to comment because I don’t feel “cool” enough to fit in with you and your friends. Whitney from Quipwhit (and I’ve totally changed my mind about this since writing it) (oops, not that she and friends aren’t cool, just that maybe I might be cool enough to fit in after all)
18. Your blog originally caught my attention because you were also a teacher dealing with a lot of the same crap I dealt with when I taught. Now I’m more fascinated by you as a person than your teaching experiences. Deadpan Ann
19. I will never feel comfortable commenting on your blog, and I see it more as an indulgence to read it than anything else. nope
20. I have nothing but respect for you and all that you have been through with your little girl. McCarthy Micropreemie Blog
21. Your baby boy really isn’t cute, although I would never admit that to anybody who knew you. no way
22. I read your blog and can’t believe that you can edit anything. uh-uh, but not Lizzy
23. I get the feeling we have nothing at all in common, but I still feel like we would be great friends in real life. Lizzy from House of H, this one’s yours.
24. We do have a lot in common, and I hope that we can become better friends through our blogs. Kristin from Life and Times of a SAHM
25. You don’t even know about this blog, but your support through my other blog has meant everything to me–and I doubt you’ll ever know just how much it means to me that you took the initiative to e-mail me with your story. Erica
26. Your stories about your kids constantly crack me up. A Kid Called Emma
27. You are a very dedicated mother, and you give me lots of ideas of things to do with my own kids when they get older. Debbie from A Step at a Time
28. Your son is less than a week older than my own, and I’m jealous of how advanced he is compared to PJ. Amalah
29. Your daughter is by far the cutest little kid I’ve seen in a long time (other than PJ of course). And Baby Makes Three (and I doubt anybody will disagree with me here)
30. You have an uncanny ability to make me either laugh or cry. Wasted Birth Control
31. Your posts are always so positive and amusing. Your kids have lots of personality. Susan from Are We There Yet?
32. I find it hard to keep up with your life because you post so sporadically. several actually
33. I will never forget your post about your miscarriage. I have never cried like I did at that post. Bedrest and Beyond
34. Your blog isn’t terribly interesting, but somehow I can’t keep myself from reading it regularly. oops…can’t remember this one
35. So little of your personality comes through in your blog that even though I’ve been reading you for months, I feel like I know nothing about you. nope
36. You are one of the only two people that I suspect knows who I am (at least connects this blog to my other blog), and I appreciate that you haven’t spilled my secret and that you support me so much in both blogs. Heather from Flaugh’s Flaws of course (and I now think there are 5 people who know)
37. I’m jealous of how well-known of a blogger you are. Your pseduonym is so simple yet catchy, and I wish I’d thought of something like it first. Now it would just look like I was copying you. Girl from Florida
38. I was disappointed when you moved away from the town I live in because I had a secret hope that maybe we’d become friends in real life. Then you stopped blogging altogether, and I lost the tentative friendship we had online. Jenna Benna Bo Benna
39. A part of me wonders if I knew you in college. If so, you dated my ex-boyfriend and ruined him emotionally. I’m still glad to see how good your life is now, even if you are the girl my gut tells me you are. nope, I’m still hoping I’m mistaken about this one.
40. You act like you’re done with your blog, but I know your type. You’ll be back. Like me, you can’t live without blogging. Unfortunately for you, your blog was never that interesting. Your drunken rants were particularly annoying. nope
41. I can’t believe you published a book based on your blog. I’d be more jealous if I didn’t recognize that you do have a talent for this. Motherhood Isn’t for Wimps
42. I’ve stopped reading your blog because your life is boring, but you’ve stopped reading mine too, so it doesn’t bother me. nope
43. One time you commented on my blog and I was beside myself. I couldn’t believe that someone with your notoriety actually read my blog and felt compelled to comment. Sarah and the Goon Squad
44. I wish you would post actual content and not just pictures. Shannon Herman
45. It took me months to connect your name to your blog. For some reason the name doesn’t sound like the personality you show on your blog. I think we’d be good friends in real life, though. Chas from Sugar and Ice (Don’t ask me why I couldn’t make that connection!)
46. Your most memorable post was your post-partum picture. You looked more fit in that one than I ever have, and I’m not overweight by any means. The Essence
47. I don’t know why I keep reading you. You rarely ever post, and when you do, it doesn’t have great content. It feels like your blog is only relevant for people who already knew you before the blog. nope
48. I prayed for you and your family, and it makes me smile every time I see a new post on your blog showing how well she is thriving. Pray for Alicia (now wasn’t that one obvious?)
49. You don’t know me or know that I read your blog, but what you say about your pregnancy only depresses me. I think I’m headed down the same road. nope, I can’t even remember the name anyway.
50. I had a crush on you in high school and stumbled across your blog awhile back accidentally. I’ve blog-stalked you every so often since then. I hope you never figure out who I am. nope, not linked here anyway

Did that answer most of your questions? Anybody who was named or had their blog named is listed in my links to the side, so I decided to not be redundant (but lazy instead) and not link them again here. I’m a little surprised looking back at how few there really were that I would refuse to name. Maybe I wasn’t quite as catty as I thought. I guess I’ll have to try harder next time! Kidding!