Please forgive this post that I know already will be a long, rambling rant. I hate being this negative, but I’m just in one of those moods. I’m having trouble finding the silver lining today.
To start with, I’m having a particularly yucky day. I know part of it is due to being up so late last night–another rant–and the subsequent lack of sleep. Knowing the reason for the ickiness doesn’t make it go away, though. The worst seems to be over for the moment, as I was finally able to eat something a few minutes ago. Yes, the first food in my mouth all day was after 2:00. And I had to fight to keep those few bites down. Goodness, I’m ready for the second trimester.
Okay, about last night…it actually started yesterday morning. I woke up with a headache. No “safe” medicines get rid of my headaches, so I decided to just wait it out. By late afternoon, the mild headache was throbbing, and I knew I had to try something. I turned to caffeine as a non-medical remedy. It usually works better than most medicine anyway. The problem is that I haven’t had caffeine at all in months, long before getting pregnant. I had half a cup of weak tea and then gave up. Half a cup! It dulled the headache a little, and I hoped that by having so little it wouldn’t affect my sleep. Obviously that didn’t happen. I grew increasingly frustrated as each hour passed and I was still awake. It was after two this morning before I felt the least bit drowsy. I don’t do well on that little sleep normally, much less when I’m pregnant. I want a nap, but I know if I get one, I’ll have just as much trouble sleeping again tonight.
I’m also frustrated because PJ’s first trouble-free night in his toddler bed was a fluke. We fought him for three hours last night to keep him in bed, with me pushing the “no lifting” limits repeatedly, before we just gave up. We waited until there was only quiet in his room and then crept in to move him to bed while he still slept. He took his morning nap on the floor, and I suspect his afternoon nap is going the same way. I have no idea how to keep him in bed. I don’t have the patience–or the physical strength–to deal with this right now.
And did I mention that I puked again yesterday? As bad as the nausea has been the last few weeks, I’ve managed to keep from actually vomiting. But yesterday it hit while I was in the shower, and I couldn’t choke it back. One whiff of the clean shower smell (before even pulling out shampoo or soap) and I was done for. Yeah, I’m not showering today. M can just put up with a stinky me. That was also the first puke this pregnancy with actual food in my stomach. Those are so, so, so, so much worse.
I hope we baby-proofed PJ’s room well enough. I hear him thumping in his room right now. I’m scared to find out what he might be getting into. He is so sleep-deprived right now after staying up three hours late last night, not napping very long this morning, and refusing to sleep now. I wonder if it would be bad to give him some Tylenol to encourage him to sleep better. I might if I didn’t think he would fight that drowsiness as much as he must feel right now.
And the worst frustration is that my other blog–all about PJ–hasn’t seen a word of this toddler bed drama. I vowed not to write about that stuff here since that’s what the other blog is devoted to. But my MIL doesn’t know about the bleeding or the pelvic rest or the toddler bed, so I can’t write about it on the blog she reads. It saddens me that my son has hit such a huge milestone and only my parents and you guys know about it. I hate that my MIL is starting to miss important events in his life because of her own demanding, manipulative ways. The worst part is that when she finds out something major happened that she didn’t hear about right away, she’ll blame us and try to make us feel guilty about it. This situation is really testing my patience.
Okay, I just put PJ back in his bed, and the funniest thing happened. I was scolding him for crawling out of bed again, complete with finger-wagging. I was really getting into it when from his position in bed (for the moment) he lifted his finger and wagged it back at me, smiling the whole time. I think my uncontrolled laughter may have undermined the lecture, since I already hear more thumps from his room. This may be a very long afternoon.