Responding to Comments

Ugh. I was going to focus on the comments from yesterday’s post, but I just saw a comment on my most recent post on my other blog. It was about how painful it was to give up our dog. The lady was very judgmental about the whole thing and how awful we are to give a dog a home and then give her up when things get too hard. I really want to take more time to explain myself, but I know better. She’s going to think I’m an awful person either way, so the high road would be to delete the comment and pretend it never happened. Other bloggers, what is your theory about dealing with annoying comments like that? What do you do when you have anonymous people criticize you for something when they don’t know the whole story?

Okay, moving on to the comments from yesterday’s post. Heather, I hadn’t even thought about my in-laws claiming we had abandoned PJ to them. It’s a scary thought, for sure, but I don’t think they would do that. Instead of controlling their son through their grandson, they would alienate us altogether. Any future granchildren–especially the long-awaited granddaughter (if that’s what I’m carrying now)–will never get to even meet them. They wouldn’t be able to afford the inevitable court case that would follow (we have more retirement than they do). I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I sincerely doubt they would follow that route.

That said, even at the worst of the ordeal yesterday I wouldn’t consider letting them take PJ in for even a short time. I know there are other better options that we need to find and consider first. I talked with my own mom about the problem yesterday, and we came up with a few temporary solutions.

One rejected idea is the same one Hoping suggested. In fact, day care or something similar was one of the first ideas we came up with. The problem there is that PJ was a preemie. This is the time of year when he is most susceptible to getting RSV. Our insurance denied him Synagis shots this year that would help prevent that problem, so we had to promise our doctor that we would keep him away from other children as much as humanly possible. That rules out day care before we even start considering whether it’s in our budget. Having PJ in the hospital struggling to breathe would only make this situation worse, not better. It’s not worth the risk.

Our worst case scenario right now would be for PJ and me to stay with my parents for some time until the morning sickness started to ease up. Oddly enough, I know more people that live near them, and we would have a better support system there. We already know people who would more than willingly come help me out there in the morning while my parents were working. M could come visit on weekends because it’s still reasonably close, something that couldn’t happen if either of us stayed with my in-laws.

We have a contingency plan if another morning like yesterday’s happens, though. If it’s just one morning, the idea should work okay. We’ll have to move on to something more serious if it continues to be a problem. I will push myself to get PJ out of his crib and bring him back to our room where he can play in a small pen (or playard when we get it back from my parents–long story) next to the bed. I can lie there comfortably and feed him Cheerios over the side. It’s not the best solution, but at least he wouldn’t be alone and he’d have food. I’m very glad we didn’t have to use that contingency plan today.

Hmm, it seems like I’m forgetting something. Anybody notice a logic flaw or a missed response to a comment? Anyway, at least we’re thinking more clearly about how to deal with situations like yesterday. I just hope the morning sickness gets better quickly and none of those solutions have to be used.

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2 Responses to Responding to Comments

  1. Heather Noel says:

    I’m glad you have some plans lined up. I’ve been thinking about you, and I hope everything works out in the end.

  2. Hoping says:

    The stupid comment about the dog? I boil over things people say or comment on without knowing the whole story, just know that you know what your story is and she does not and that makes her very insensitive.

    How far along are you? Are you taking something for the morning sickness? Sorry if you already blogged about this.

    Help from your mother and father sounds great and I am glad you talked to your mom about it.

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