I’m stinky. I’ve been smelling myself for two days, and I don’t know how much longer I can take it. The problem is that I’m afraid to take a shower. I believe I’ve mentioned before how strongly smells can affect me. The worst smells yet are the shower smells–shampoo, conditioner, soap. They’re even worse than the grossest dirty diapers ever (which PJ has every morning these days, during the worst of the morning sickness–we think he has a touch of morning sickness too). If I breathe in even one tiny whiff of the shampoo odor, I have to fight gagging. I’d forgotten just how bad this was from last time. Actually, I think it’s worse this time.
So I spend most of my days smelling my offensive BO and planning when I’ll try to shower. And then something comes up, like the nausea is suddenly much worse, and I lose my resolve. It’s pretty sad that I can stand my own yucky smell better than clean smells, isn’t it?
I am on medication, of course. I’m on Zofran right now. It’s what I took with PJ, but it never did squat then. I still puked just as often as I did before starting the medicine and was just as nauseous. It made me feel like I was maybe doing something to help it by taking the medicine, so I kept it up. It was a fight to put on any weight at all, but the doctor never seemed too concerned. She didn’t really listen when I would tell her the nausea kept getting worse. She upped my meds a few times, but I couldn’t ever tell a difference. We all considered it a victory when I had gained twenty-five pounds from my lowest weight by the time PJ was born.
I’m glad that this time the doctor (the new one) is being more proactive about the morning sickness. We didn’t have to fight to get put on medicine like we did last time (that was a fight after they’d already told us they had called in a prescription for us). She simply asked if I was struggling with morning sickness again and then wondered if I wanted the Zofran again. I was a little surprised when I analyzed the prescription more closely. Each pill had twice the medicine in it than last time. I think that’s the reason I haven’t puked nearly as much this time. Finally I’m taking enough to actually help.
Obviously, it hasn’t taken away the nausea altogether. I still fight it all day long like I did last time, but most of the time it isn’t that urgent “I could puke any second now” nausea like last time. That was the worst, to be unable to do almost anything because I felt like any second could be the one that sends me running to the bathroom. For that reason alone, I feel like generally the nausea is more tolerable this time. I just hope it ends at the end of the first trimester like it’s supposed to. Last time it didn’t start to ease up at all until almost twenty weeks, and I was still on the Zofran up until the day PJ was born. It better not last that long this time; the only reason I’m as upbeat as I am now is thinking that I only have about five more weeks of this (I’m a day or two away from eight weeks right now).