The nausea has most definitely escalated over the last few days. Last night and this morning, it’s been downright agonizing. I’m not sure whether to pray that I can puke again and get a few more minutes of relief afterwards or just pray for death. I’m scared to eat anything because it’s so much worse being sick with a full stomach. I’m truly beginning to worry something is wrong, and that’s why the nausea is suddenly worse instead of starting to ease up as it should be about now.
I remember one morning in particular last pregnancy when the nausea was the worst it ever got. That evening I went to the ER because of bleeding. I’m terrified of a recurrence this time.
Oh, yeah, the worst part? M feels awful right now too. I’m still taking care of PJ as normal because he claims he must feel worse than I do and can’t handle it. I depend on him to take up some of the slack, and instead he’s only creating more for me to do, now that I feel entirely incapable of doing anything.
My mom is coming to visit for a few days, starting tomorrow evening. I know she’s coming partly to help out around here while I feel bad, but I hate that she’s coming to such a messy house. We have laundry in all stages of being done (except folded and ready to put up), nasty bathrooms, an unbathed mom and kid, and trash that didn’t make it out to the curb in time for its pick-up this morning. I would love to take care of all of this at minimum before tomorrow afternoon, but I just don’t know whether I’ll be able to handle it feeling like this. I know my mom would be happy taking care of all of that (except bathing me…ew), but it feels wrong to have her show up to my messy house. I need to decide in the next few hours whether I’ll try pushing myself enough to clean up some of the things on my list. It’d be easier if I weren’t convinced that even trying would send me to the bathroom to puke repeatedly.