My mom left a few minutes ago to go home. I am left alone with my son again, and the idea scares me. I’ve relied on her help so much in the few days that she’s been here that I don’t know how to function without her around any longer. I can manage without the home-cooked meals every night, and even without the sparkling clean house. I cannot, however, play with PJ for endless hours while I feel like this. I hate that PJ has had such constant entertainment for the past four days and then today will have to go back to independent play most of the time. He’s made such progress since his nana got here, trying to say new words, standing on his own at last, and even acting like he might attempt his first few steps. Now I know we’re in for another stagnant period in his development until I’m able to give him the attention he deserves again.
I’m glad I had a few good days while my mom was here, but overall, things don’t seem to be getting better. I’ve been sick twice so far this week (with another one about to happen any minute now). Before the bad spell hit last week, I was averaging less than once a week. I am getting so tired of being nauseous all the time. Nothing has the power to distract me any longer, either. I would prefer to just lie in bed and whine all day until this passes, and my suddenly increased responsibilities are overwhelming me today.