I Need to Get Out More

April 9, 2007

Today we had PJ’s eighteen-month appointment. It should have been no big deal. I had the schedule for the whole day planned in my mind before falling asleep last night, and it was a simple matter to follow that schedule today.

So how come I woke up feeling like crap today? I had tummy cramps right away, the kind that make you wonder whether you should take the Imodium before or after the first disgusting trip to the bathroom. I decided to wait until after. But my body never did what I expected it to. I couldn’t do anything to relieve the tummy cramps. They just continued on and off all morning until we were on the way to the doctor. They sent me to the bathroom numerous times, though, which sent me a little off schedule.

Then I coughed while putting on my make-up, and the cough made me gag. There was no going back from there. I was sick to my stomach for the first time in three weeks.

Why today, you might ask. I have noticed a pattern of this recently. My worst mornings happen on the days when I’m expecting to leave in the afternoon for some sort of appointment. It’s a simple case of a nervous tummy. That doesn’t make it feel any better, knowing what’s causing it, but at least I know not to worry.

How have things gotten to this point, where I get an upset tummy just knowing I have to go somewhere? Do I really get out that little? I suspect it’s more the worry that I’ll end up feeling too sick to go to the scheduled appointment, so I end up worrying myself sick.

At my worst moment this morning, I considered calling M to see if he could beg the afternoon off work to take PJ to his appointment for me. I’m glad I didn’t, even though my tummy probably would have felt a lot better a lot sooner if I had. Even now it hasn’t quite recovered. I hope my own appointment tomorrow afternoon doesn’t cause the same tummy trauma. I don’t know if I could handle two bad days like this in a row.