Listen to Me Whine

April 16, 2007

I don’t know what’s wrong–if anything–and it’s starting to scare me. I would call the doctor about it, but my symptoms are so vague that it seems pointless. How exactly do they determine what’s wrong with you if your main symptom is that “something doesn’t feel right”?

It started on Saturday when I got up early to feed PJ, usually one of M’s weekend jobs that I took over to let him sleep late on his birthday. I was more exhausted than normal, so I went back to bed when M got up. I slept like a rock for three hours. I didn’t even roll over in that time. I was somewhat listless the rest of the day. Then in the drive-through line at Whataburger, I suddenly broke down. I don’t know what exactly M said or why I reacted strongly, but from that point on my emotions were absolutely out of my control. I ignored the weirdness, though, because exhaustion and unstable emotions are so common with a preggie. These may have been more severe than normal, but not uncommon still.

Then yesterday the same kinds of symptoms continued and kept getting worse. All day I complained that I wanted or needed something but didn’t know what. I didn’t know what was wrong to know what might fix whatever was wrong. Poor M who had the task of figuring out what might help me when I couldn’t even vocalize what exactly was wrong. I was glad when the day finally ended and I could sleep again, hopefully putting an end to the weird feelings.

I woke up this morning to PJ practicing his “outdoor voice” in his room, and it was after a full eight hours of sleep. The sleep didn’t seem to matter, though; I could barely keep my eyes open even during a quick diaper change. We did Cheerios in my room again, with PJ in an enclosed play area next to the bed, while I dozed most of that time. When I woke up again at noon, I still felt like I hadn’t slept. I woke up stiff and with a headache. I was nauseous, too, but it was about medicine time. Unfortunately the meds have yet to get rid of this nausea. After so many good days, it’s weird to feel nausea again.

The weirdest symptoms yet happened when I attempted to make myself a sandwich for lunch. I felt so weak and unfocused, like I couldn’t remember what steps to do in what order and even lifting the knife to spread the peanut butter was going to make me collapse. It didn’t help that all the food smells were making me more nauseous. Finally, I had my sandwich and started to head to the couch to eat it, and the weakness suddenly started to overwhelm me. I was getting tunnel vision like I was going to pass out, and I think I was breathing funny, although I don’t know why or even how exactly. I didn’t pass out, but the episode scared me.

Now I’m spending the day lying down as much as possible. I get worried every time I have to get up at all. I know if I’m that worried I should call the doctor, but I’m not sure what to tell them is wrong. I also don’t want M to have to take more time off work to go to the doctor with me (because we all know he won’t let me drive myself like this) if they decide it’s worrisome enough to warrant an appointment. I’ve always had a problem telling when what I’m feeling is serious enough for a call to the doctor, so sometimes I call when nothing is wrong and sometimes when it’s gone too far already. I’m not sure which side this weird feeling falls on. It’s probably nothing, just normal pregnancy symptoms that I’m having trouble handling. Maybe I should try taking a nap to see if I feel better after a little more sleep.

Update: I did some research, usually my first instinct before taking the huge leap of calling the doctor. It turns out today at least, I had all the classic symptoms of an impending migraine. Sure enough, my slight tension headache I had upon waking this morning (afternoon?) escalated into one of the worst headaches I’ve had yet. I took the last of the headache pills the doctor gave me last week (that it turns out are for migraines, as I found when I read the packaging closer). It was only half a dose, but I’m much better now. I have the echo of a headache left but have returned to functional and feel normal again. I remember getting a headache last night as well and ignoring it because it was too late to take my caffeine-laden pills. Funny I should wake up with a headache too. I feel kind of stupid now that I didn’t think about this earlier, but at least I have a reasonable explanation, one that didn’t require a call to the doctor. By the way, I did call to get an official prescription for those headache pills. If they’re helping this much, even for migraines, it seemed the only prudent thing to do.