Last night, M and I were snuggled together chatting right before bed. As usual, M started dozing off in the middle of the conversation, so I kissed him good-night and continued to lie close to him as I watched him fall asleep. All of a sudden I had a flash of one of my favorite scenes from a movie, in Casper when the sweet ghost watches his human, Kat, fall asleep and whispers to her, “Can I keep you?” She mumbles, “Mm-hmm,” in response, which apparently satisfies the lonely ghost. I whispered Casper’s question to M, and as if on cue, he replied, “Mm-hmm,” in his sleep. I doubt he even remembers this morning.
This movie line has always been special to the two of us. As you may have gathered, Kat is the shortest nickname that can be derived from my real name, so early in our relationship, M started calling me that every so often. He’d also recently watched the movie. Before the end of our first weekend together, he had brought up that movie scene, noting the similarities. In a sweet romantic moment, he asked me, “Can I keep you?” Although I’d already suspected that would be the case, I was reluctant to admit to such that soon into the relationship. I avoided answering the question and continued to do so every time he asked for the first couple of weeks.
Then one day he asked again, and I whispered, “Uh-huh,” in response. That was my way of telling him that I knew at last. I don’t think he was any happier when I said those magic three words to him for the first time–I love you.
Somewhere I heard the idea of writing letters to each other to read right before our wedding, before we’d seen each other for the first time on that special day. I thought it would be a good way to tell each other just how we were feeling about being married to each other, but I never realized that recording them in letter form would be a way for us to always keep the memory of those feelings. Our letters are forever side-by-side in our wedding album now. Every so often I glance back at them when I’m in a nostalgic mood. I always get a bit teary-eyed when I read them.
The last line of M’s letter, written hastily while trying to avoid distractions from his brothers the night before, was “So, can I keep you?”
The last line of my letter, written in a quiet place in the church the morning before the wedding, before ever receiving the letter from him, was “Yes, you can keep me.”