A Conundrum

June 18, 2007

I’m feeling better now, so as promised, here’s a post with actual substance.  I’m hoping some of you who have more wisdom than I do, or at least experience with meddling in-laws, can help me find a solution to a problem.

It has to do with my other blog.  I started my other blog in my first few months post-partum when I was still suffering from PPD.  It was to be an outlet for me as well as a place to ramble on and on about my kid without feeling guilty about boring anyone who didn’t want to hear.  Quickly, the blog became a way to tell PJ stories and pass on PJ pictures for the grandparents and greats and other relatives without sending out tons of e-mails or making tons of phone calls.

I hate what the blog has become now.  I’ve stopped trying to let it be an outlet or a place for profound thoughts.  I edit everything I say to the point that all substance is gone.  Still I get comments from certain people that come across sounding very critical.  I can’t do everything right on the blog to the satisfaction of my MIL.  It has become a stressor for me, trying to please her–or at least not tick her off–with every single blog post.  When the comments aren’t written, we hear them in person (well, over the phone).  You’d think if she relies on it as much as she says she does, she’d let me have a little more freedom with it.

To show you how bad it’s gotten, here are a few of the things she has done with her comments.  She has griped when I had too many pictures of PJ with my family and not enough with her or my FIL.  She has “suggested” that I post about the time spent with someone in her family soon, even if I just wrote that it would be the next post and when I anticipated getting to it.  She has put jabs in the comments about how she wishes she could see him more often (side note: She’s always saying that, like it’s our fault we live so far away.  They wouldn’t move here if given the perfect opportunity because having us move close to them is totally a controlling thing–like she’s doing with the blog.).  Maybe I’m reading more into what she says than she means, but somehow I doubt it.  It’s gotten to where nearly every comment contains thinly veiled criticism.  I don’t know that I can handle it much longer.

The blog is no longer my own, but controlled by my MIL and to some extent M’s grandmother.

But it’s still a good place for me to record the PJ stories (and soon, BabyN stories) that I want to remember.  I’m not ready to let those stories fade into the recesses of my memory and not have a record of all the cute things he does.  Nor do I want to change this blog into a place to simply brag about my kid.  I like this blog the way it is, and combining the two purposes doesn’t seem to make sense to me.

So here are the options I see:

  • leave everything the same and put up with the critical comments from my MIL
  • go back to writing whatever I want on the other blog and tell her to go to hell when she complains more
  • stop blogging there altogether
  • retire that blog and start a new one, a private one on blogger where only people I invite can read
  • quit blogging and start journaling instead

I’m most tempted to start a new blog that only MY family and friends can read, but I’m afraid somebody would let something slip around them and they’d discover I was keeping something from them.  I don’t like any of the solutions I have come up with because they all have major flaws.  Do I just surrender now and admit I can’t have everything in this situation?  I don’t know.  What advice do you guys have for me?

Blogging Malaise

June 18, 2007

Last week I had about three posts I was dying to write, but something else kept coming up at the last second that took precedence.  Now even though I have time to write about them, I just can’t get the motivation to start.  So you’re getting this poor excuse of a post today instead.

I have a headache, and my medicine isn’t working on it, at least not yet.  I need to shower.  I need to finish laundry.  I need to wash the endless number of towels the grandparents went through this weekend (what’s up with that anyway?).  There are toddler toys strewn all over the floor, making a dangerous obstacle course.  Am I doing anything about any of these things I need to do?  Nope.  I’m trying to type while keeping my eyes closed and the light out of my eyes.

And that’s it.  You’ll have to check back later for anything at all intelligent.  Maybe I’ll even be showered at that point.  Then again, maybe not.