Today I am very, very glad I don’t have a job that requires any fine motor skills. I would be scared to be in surgery with someone’s life in my hands. I would hate to ruin a piece of artwork I’d been working on for ages. I’m even relieved I don’t have to try to write on a chalkboard in front of a class of judgmental teenagers right now. It’s bad enough trying to pour a glass of milk without spilling or typing or even jotting something down on the grocery list. I have little to no control of my hands right now.
At least the shakiness from the medicine is the worst of it. It’s not fun, but why do I really need fine motor skills right now anyway? The only sad part is that I’m afraid to pick up PJ and hold him. The trembling is making me feel weak everywhere, and I’m afraid I will end up dropping him. In a pinch, I think we’d be fine, though.
M claims the medicine is having more effects than just the shaking. He keeps telling me how funny I am when I’m hyper. I don’t feel at all hyper–sleepy instead. But he has more of an objective view. Maybe I am a bit hyper and don’t realize it. I also feel just a bit nervous all the time. It’s weird feeling like all I want to do is sleep, but when I lie down, I can’t keep my body or legs still.
So far I haven’t noticed a huge decrease in the Braxton-Hicks. I guess I expected once I had the medicine in my system, the contractions would just disappear altogether. They’re usually pretty moderate in the mornings, and that hasn’t changed. I guess the real test will be this evening; evenings are usually when they are the worst. I don’t know whether to hope the medicine helps or not. Of course I want relief from the worry the frequent Braxton-Hicks cause, but a part of me wants to be off this medicine already. Still, I doubt the side effects of any stronger anti-contractiion medicine will be at all preferable to the relatively minor shakiness.