Hormonal and Whiny

July 27, 2007

I don’t very often ask or beg for comments, but today I actually need them.  I’m in need of encouragement from all of you.  I know between the pregnancy hormones and the yucky medicine, this is bound to happen from time to time.  I’m just so discouraged and miserable today, and I can’t manage to get myself balanced back out, even though I know I’m overreacting to everything and why.

The medicine is affecting me much worse than it has the last few days, and I can’t keep myself from shaking.  It feels like I’ve been suddenly placed in Antarctica in the dead of winter because of how much I’m shivering.  But I’m not the least bit cold.  It’s very uncomfortable.  I’ve also been nauseous agaiin, something that hasn’t happened much for a long time.  It took all my willpower to make lunch for PJ and me, between the shaking and the nausea.  All of this is making my normal, everyday mothering tasks seem overwhelming.

And add to all this that I have no clue what is really going on with my body.  I question with each Braxton-Hicks whether this is the one to really worry about, if this is the one that indicates the start of labor.  And I don’t know how much I should really worry.  It bugs me that I don’t know what comes next in my doctor’s plan of treatment and what will make her decide to go ahead with that next step.  I feel lost and out of touch with what is going on with the pregnancy.  It’s all very discouraging today, not even knowing whether to worry, what to worry about, or what I should be doing to prevent anything from happening.

So while I’m feeling altogether antisocial today, as often happens when I’m feeling under the weather and moody, I could really use some encouragement.  Or sympathy.  Maybe that’s what I’m really shooting for.  Pity me already!  (By the way, has that ever happened to you?  You start whining, and all you hear is that everything is going to be okay, and you get annoyed because you already know that and really wanted to hear words of understanding and sympathy at your plight instead?)  Anyway, maybe tomorrow I’ll be better again with my sense of humor back and I’ll be able to blog something more upbeat, and possibly unrelated to the pregnancy, again.