Today I’m 35 weeks. Back when I was pregnant with PJ, I was super terrified about him coming early. A part of me never expected it would actually happen, but just in case, I made him promise me not to come until at least 25 weeks but I’d prefer not until after 30 weeks. As you know, he showed up at 31 weeks. (By the way, I really just told him that was what I wanted, and he kicked in response, which I took as his agreement.)
This time, I decided to ask for an even better promise from BabyN. I asked him to not come until after his brother did, preferably waiting until after 35 weeks. Again, today I’m 35 weeks. Both my boys have kept their promises. Of course, that also means BabyN can truly come any day now.
I’ve thought I was ready. I know I have a few things left to do to prepare for being at the hospital for a couple of days, but otherwise I’m prepared physically. But suddenly it dawns on me that this baby has to get out somehow. I’m getting a little nervous about the birth now, and the sleepless nights that will follow, and caring for PJ without having had any sleep. I’m also anxious that I don’t know when to expect to go into labor.
Last time, after PJ was born, I regretted missing those last two months of pregnancy. I knew they were pretty miserable, but I hated that I didn’t even get to experience them. It was like I’d missed out on a good part of being a mother, at least the early months, by skipping the worst part of pregnancy. I most missed that I didn’t feel those days or weeks of anticipation or the basic heaviness and awkwardness of being so huge. Even though I’m still technically a month away from my due date, I feel like I’ve had both of those already. I am certainly huge and awkward, and I spend most of every day sitting or lying down because it’s so tough to move much. And I’ve been expecting to go into labor any day for a good month now at least, so I’ve felt that anticipation. Neither are quite what I expected, but at least I’ve experienced it all this time.
At one point I thought I would have BabyN on August 15. It’s my SIL’s and BIL’s birthday, and it just seemed a likely date for BabyN to choose. I’m not so sure now he’ll pick that date after all, but if I don’t blog at all tomorrow, it might have just happened anyway. Any other guesses as to his birthday, now that I’ve given him permission to show up any day now?