Not to purposefully write a depressing post, but to stick to my pledge to be honest about things that most people won’t mention…
Frustrating things about a newborn:
1. The sound of an outright cry totally grates on my nerves, especially when everything I can think to do doesn’t help.
2. Lots of stuff during nursing, like when he sucks on my arm and fights when I reposition his head to find the milk. Or when I’m trying to position him and he keeps flailing his arms right in front of his mouth.
3. When he wants an awake time at 5:00 in the morning
4. He screams for his pacifier, which I readily give to him. He grimaces like he can’t believe I would put something so foul in his mouth but eventually takes it anyway. The screaming stops, just in time for him to flail an arm near his mouth and knock it back out.
5. I take off his diaper, clean him up, and get a new diaper on just enough for him to pee everywhere, including all over the clean diaper. Then he screams when I have to change both his diaper and his clothes.
6. Why does he only like my right boob? My left is the one with more milk (and therefore also hurts more), but he refuses to ever drain it (so it always hurts).
I could come up with lots more, but I’m really not in a negative mood. None of these make me regret having a baby. It’s worth it, even the lack of sleep, to watch him look up at me with those huge, innocent eyes and know he’s depending on me for absolutely everything right now and that I’m his everything. Besides, he smiled at me for the first time this morning. Amazing how one fleeting second can wipe out any negative feelings I’ve been building up.