Despite what it may sound like at times, I really enjoy being a mother of two. It is what I was meant to do–mother children (plural, not necessarily two specifically). Sure there are moments when I imagine myself in a Calgon commercial. I let myself soak in a quiet, immaculately clean bathroom, in one of those nifty claw-foot bathtubs, up to my neck in subs with a glass of wine (if I drank anyway) sitting within arms’ reach. The daydream can tune out any matter of screaming for a few minutes at a time.
Then I realize the silence in my dream is actually coming from the room around me. The screaming miraculously stops. I look around to see what trouble my boys must be getting into to warrant such quiet. I find PJ hovering over BabyN, trying to undress him–a favorite activity for both boys (what’s with boys and nudity anyway?)–or gently stroking his head. BabyN is gazing up in rapt attention at his big brother with a smile of adoration plastered on his face, much different from the flirtatious smile the rest of us get. PJ is softly chattering to his brother, saving his ear-piercing shrieks for when I’m hovering on the edge of insanity already: “Bye-bye, Gaga [his pet name for his brother]. See you in a little while.” Or if his brother begins fussing again: “It’s okay, Gaga. Ssssssss. It’s okay.”
My life would be much less rich if I didn’t get to watch my two children interact from this young age. It helps me get to know both my boys so much better. It turns out that PJ is truly my little man, eager to grow up and be just like Mommy or Daddy. He mimics our every move (like right now, he’s sitting next to me also typing on his own play laptop), including nurturing BabyN. He is growing into a truly nurturing child as a result. Sometimes he acts so mature (when he’s not throwing the mother of all tantrums) that I forget he’s only two. I have to remind myself to not encourage him to take on too much responsibility and to play with him like the little kid he is.
BabyN is my big little boy (compared to PJ, my little big boy). I expect the two to be the same size shortly after BabyN’s first birthday. Already I don’t treat him with the same overprotectiveness I gave PJ; I just don’t worry as much about hurting my sturdy boy. Yet, even though he will catch up to PJ size-wise, he will always be my baby. He will take much longer to catch up to PJ in maturity. Long after he’s outgrown his “big” brother, he will still look “up” to him with the same adoration I see now. (As someone with a younger sister who is bigger than her, I can kind of relate to PJ in this instance. My sister still gives me her hand-me-ups from time to time.)
As much as I whine about the two of my boys and the chaos that takes over our house on a daily basis, I love my boys so much and couldn’t imagine life without them, screaming and all. I love them each with all my heart for who they are, and I love them that much more for who they are together. Being a mom of two is scary to begin with, but it doesn’t take long until this is the only life you could dream of living–with the occasional Calgon daydream escape.
By the way, we haven’t heard anything new about my SIL and nephew. As of yesterday at one in the afternoon, they were starting to induce her. I’m assuming that since we haven’t heard anything, that means her labor is progressing, although slowly as you might expect. I suspect we would have heard if she was getting worse or if they’d decided to do a c-section. I’ll let you know as soon as we hear news from them. Keep praying!