Sleep, Elusive Sleep

February 8, 2008

Nights lately have been one step forward, two steps back.  Remember when I was complaining that BabyN was still waking up to eat in the early morning?  Yeah, I apparently complained prematurely.  I’d be thrilled if he only woke up once to eat.  We had one good night this week, and the rest of the time, he’s been getting up every three hours, if not sooner.  I am so exhausted that I’m worried I’m going to accidentally feed BabyN the Cheerios and try to breastfeed PJ.  Okay, not really, but you get the point.

I have also determined that being excessively tired makes the joint issues much, much worse.  Yesterday evening, I could barely hobble around the house because the pain in my hip was so bad.  I felt like a grandma in need of a walker.  And this is funny.  M typically won’t offer his help, even when he desperately wants to, because he’s had issues in the past where he got his head bitten off for trying to help with something that somebody could do on their own (not me, thank goodness).  I’m the opposite, though, and won’t ask for help even if I desperately need it because I feel bad watching him doing something I think I should do.  So last night, he watched helplessly as I stumbled around trying to take care of BabyN.  I wanted him to offer his help but couldn’t ask, and he wanted me to ask for help but wouldn’t offer it.  We are both too stubborn!

I used to be able to cope better with the sleep issues because at least BabyN would go back to sleep for a few extra hours in the morning to let me catch up somewhat from the missed sleep at night.  That is now a thing of the past.  Come 7:00, he’s up and ready for the day, regardless of how many nighttime feedings we had.  I, however, am not quite so ready to get up at that point.  He’s not like PJ, who is able to play quietly in his room for half an hour or so before I get him up.  Nope, BabyN continuously whines until I drag my headachy, dizzy butt out of bed and rescue him from his playard.

And then he has the nerve to grin and coo at me, as though he really just wanted to see my grumpy face.  At 7:00 in the morning.  Kids are weird.