Sorry about taking a few days off from writing. I decided to spend more time with the family, since M had a long three-day weekend. I didn’t have anything pressing to write about anyway, so I just enjoyed a short break.
And now I’m back. I’m back with a little more sleep under my belt as well, even after a weekend of staying up WAY too late. BabyN is still sleeping in the same room with PJ. That doesn’t necessarily contribute to my well-rested state, but it’s a good, exciting transition nevertheless.
Actually, at the moment, I think having them share a room is still costing me sleep. I go to bed each night holding my breath that everything goes well that night, that PJ doesn’t wake up BabyN or that his crying doesn’t wake up PJ, that by some miracle they will both sleep late the next morning. Slowly, though, I am learning to trust my boys. BabyN has woken up at least once each night (last night because the neighbors got up crazy early this morning, and the light from their bathroom shines right into the boys’ room), and once or twice PJ woke up as well. PJ is a champion sleeper, though, and manages to go right back to sleep as long as the sun hasn’t come up yet. If BabyN wakes him up after sunrise, I’m out of luck, but that’s only happened once so far.
I’m still cautious about going into the boys’ room. That only happens when BabyN cries, and then I just swoop him up out of bed so that maybe he won’t disturb PJ. One night I put him back into bed after a quick feeding, as it was still several hours until sunrise. That worked great, and I don’t think PJ even realized his brother left his room during the night. Last night, though, it was too late in the morning, so I just put him back down in his playard in our room. He managed to go back to sleep, so I got several more hours of sleep as well. I think if he’d gone back in his room, I would have been forced to get up to take care of PJ at least.
After the first two nights, I was starting to get disappointed about the new room arrangements. Getting both boys up at the same time in the morning meant I missed that quiet morning time with BabyN, when I would nurse him in bed and curl up with him as we both dozed together for some time before getting upf or the day. That’s been my favorite part of the day, and I was already missing it–not enough to delay the room change any longer, but I was sad about it anyway.
But then he woke up too late in the morning to go back to bed in his own room, so he slept a few hours in our room. That took us back to our old wake-up routine the last few days. I have gotten that snuggle time with BabyN after all. I know it won’t happen every day, but I love knowing that it will still happen some days. I will be able to cherish those days even more now because I know they’ll start to happen less and less frequently and that each morning could be the last like that. It sounds kind of sad, but it’s much better than realizing after the fact that the last opportunity had come and gone and I wasted it.
And that’s something I’m doing a lot better about this time around–cherishing every moment I can with BabyN. M and I were both so eager to push PJ to the next milestone, even when he would delay getting there as long as possible, that I feel like I missed out on a lot from his first year or so of life. This time around, I really am making the effort to enjoy BabyN’s babyhood (although I am quite glad I’m not up every night with him anymore). Unfortunately, I’m already expecting him to meet each milestone much earlier than PJ. The one I want to grow up is taking his time, and the one I want to stay a baby forever will be graduating from high school and out of the house before I know it.