Vacation at Last

May 22, 2008

Today’s been pretty busy so far and will probably only get more so by the time I can crash tonight.  It’s Packing Day, as we get ready for our family vacation tomorrow.  Technically I haven’t started packing yet, but at least now I have clean clothes for us to pack.  I’ve also made this massive list of all (hopefully all) the things I need to get packed.  Wow, does adding that fourth person–and dog–add a lot of extra things to pack.  At this rate I’ll be at it all night.

Then tomorrow morning we’re going to get up at a reasonable time (which will be at least an hour before I’ll want to), get ourselves ready, and throw the last few things in the car.  Then we’ll be off!

We’re headed to my parents’ place for the weekend first.  My older brother, SIL, and niece will also be there, and I’m very much looking forward to it.  I bet the babies play together a little better than they did at Thanksgiving.  And boy is my mom going to be in heaven with 3 of her 4 grandkids around her at once!  Oh, we’re also taking one night away from the kids, spending it at a cute B&B where M and I spent our honeymoon.  I suspect this is the only real vacation we’re going to get.

Then we’re heading to my in-laws’ place.  While there, I should get to meet my nephew for the first time.  We’re coming with gifts too, a huge bag of clothes BabyN has outgrown.  We don’t have any big plans for our time there, so I’m hoping this is a relaxing leg of the trip.

Then we’re going to another larger city in the state that happens to be on the way home from my in-laws’ place.  We’re going to spend next weekend there and so some of the typical touristy stuff.  As many times as I’ve been there, I suspect it will be different this time, seeing my boys’ reactions to all of it for the first time.  And you better believe I’m getting a million pictures of everything!

Then after the exhausting week and a few days, we’ll be back home.

It’s likely you won’t see me again until then.  I’ll try to blog every chance I get while we’re gone, but I doubt it happens more than once or twice, if at all.  I hope by the time I make it back here, I can still remember all those great in-law stories you know I’ll be collecting!

Oh, and don’t write TOO much while I’m gone, ok?  It’s going to be incredibly tough to catch up with all of you after a week off!

Apparently Murphy Won

May 21, 2008

I have been in the habit of DVRing my guilty pleasure of the year, American Idol, out of courtesy to M.  I usually watch Tuesday night’s show during the day on Wednesday and fast-forward through the results show before bed on Wednesday night.

So I was doing my usual perusal of the final results show tonight, anxious to find out who had won.  I’d deliberately avoided reading any news about the show during all my Internet time tonight so that I could see it “live” instead.

I make it all the way to the end of the recording.  Ryan says, “And the winner…of American Idol…2008 is…”

And my recording ended.  Stupid cable company that can’t quite record to the very end of a show.

I groaned loudly so that M could come see what had happened and laugh at the irony of the situation with me.  Then I sighed and pulled out the computer so that I could read the news I’d been avoiding all along.

What would I do without the Internet?

By the way, I am quite satisfied with the results.  I won’t ruin it for anyone else, but I think the right man won.  And in a way, I’m kind of glad I didn’t have to see the other David’s heart broken.

Protected: Some Personal Issues

May 21, 2008

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From the Other Side of the Table

May 20, 2008

This morning we had our informational appointment for PJ to be admitted into the local school district’s special ed program.  When he turns three in October, he is officially graduated from the ECI program and turned over to the school district for any additional help he needs (if he still needs it at that point).

It was kind of a surreal feeling.  What was I doing back at a school district office?  It was all so familiar, even though I spent as little time as possible in the special ed area–yet only I recognized how easily I fit into my surroundings.  The meeting was short and simple, with the district representative introducing the different programs and clarifying all the special ed terminology.

How weird that it would be assumed I didn’t understand all that terminology already, as though I hadn’t been to hundreds of these meetings already, just on the other side of the table.

But I’m already learning that it’s different to be entering the school system from this side.  I may have much of the knowledge the teachers present have, but I really don’t understand what it’s like from the parent’s side.  That’s what I get to learn from this whole process.  All of a sudden I’m not the service provider, but on the receiving end instead.

I’m hoping my experience as a teacher will make me a better parent as we enter the school system.  I remember the best kind of parents to deal with from the teacher’s perspective, so I hope that I can be that kind of parent–able to fight for my kids’ best interests as well as willing to work with the teachers.

I guess I just didn’t expect my two professions to meet up quite this soon.  And I didn’t expect my first interactions with the school to be solely through the special ed department.  That one is probably the most surprising for me.  It’s going to take some getting used to, all these dealings with the area of the school district I avoided as much as possible during my teaching years.

Why Do I Bother?

May 19, 2008

I wish I had it in me to write a positive post this morning.  I had a pretty good weekend, sneaking in naps both days, going out shopping for a little while, and even making it to church yesterday.  The kids were good, and BabyN is sleeping well again (after three new teeth, and only one more imminent).

Unfortunately, I’m a bit upset about something, something that should be completely under my control.  You see, I feel fat.  I’m really not.  If I revealed my weight, many of you would fight the urge to tell me to shut up because the number itself is pretty enviable.  But on my tiny body, it hangs wrong.  So I look fat.

All those new clothes I got recently?  They aren’t enough to help me fight this awful body image.  Even the ones that are specifically designed to help conceal a post-baby belly aren’t enough to diminish my extra flab.  The only things that will help will be watching what I eat and exercising.

Oh, wait!  I’m already doing that!  I’m eating less than I have since I was early pregnant with BabyN and puking everything I ate.  I’m watching what it is that I eat as well.  In fact, I haven’t eaten this healthy since getting married.  And we’re going for loooong family walks almost every day.  Pushing 70+ pounds of stroller and baby only makes the workout that much more effective.

And still the weight gain continues.  I’m gaining about half a pound every couple of days.  It’s no wonder I’m getting depressed about it.  How can I be working this hard to end up with the opposite result?  I might as well turn back into a couch potato and eat everything I want and as much of it as I can force in.  Then I would have something to blame the weight gain on anyway.  I wouldn’t be working hard for nothing.

Last night, M and I even had a little tiff because I felt super awful in the sexy pajamas I chose to wear to bed, but he couldn’t keep away from me.  While it should have made me feel better that he was so turned on by me, I couldn’t get the image of what I’d just seen in the mirror out of my mind. 

I absolutely HAVE to get this body image problem under control if I can’t control the weight itself; it’s starting to affect my normal life.  But I don’t know what to do about that.  I guess venting about it is a start.  And maybe M will have some ideas for me too.

Attack of the Allergies

May 17, 2008

Yay!  BabyN let me sleep through the night!  He didn’t wake up at all until eight this morning, and then we both fell asleep again until after ten.  Aaah.  Relief.  I’m sure he’s thinking the same thing.

Unfortunately, I woke up to an allergy attack.  My wonderful husband has advised I take a Benadryl (one of the few sneezy meds that I feel comfortable taking while breastfeeding) and go sleep it off this afternoon.  He’ll watch the boys, when they’re awake, during that time.  Shoot, yeah, I’m taking him up on that offer!  As soon as BabyN wakes up, I’m feeding him and then crashing myself.

By the way, speaking of breastfeeding (we were, weren’t we?), several people have mentioned casually to me that they assumed I would be weaning BabyN pretty soon now.  You know, now that he’s getting a mouthful of teeth, I won’t want them that close to such a sensitive area.  Especially since he’s shown sadistic biting tendencies in the past.

I answered those comments both times the same way: No, I’m not planning to wean anytime soon.  If BabyN decides to be stubborn and keep biting even with correction, then I may be forced to.  But I’m not planning to wean him until he’s at least a year old, and hopefully we can make it long past then.  I don’t feel like it is anywhere near time for that yet, and it’s not going to happen unless he chooses to self-wean or I’m forced to because he’s mutilating my chest (which by the way, he’s gotten much better about).

Oops, there’s BabyN awake from his nap.  Time to feed him and then take one of my own.  Yay for weekends!

Wherein I Push My Grammatical Limits

May 16, 2008

Where was I yesterday, you ask?  (Okay, I’ll pretend you asked.)  What was I doing that was so interesting it kept me from the computer?

Nothing, actually.  I’m just dog tired.  And talk of sleep and complaints about the lack of it are getting old to me.  And there’s no other coherent thought making its way through my head.  (Although the incoherence might be infinitely more interesting…)

So I just didn’t write anything.  In fact, I probably shouldn’t have today.  I just can’t stay away from here for that long.

But BabyN cut another tooth yesterday morning, so I’m now waiting on just two more before he hopefully starts sleeping better again.  And tomorrow is the weekend, when M gets up early with the boys and lets me sleep late.  And vacation starts in a week.  There is hope after all.

In other news, someone found my blog using a google search term that’s a little too targeted at my blog specifically.  It’s stuff that someone would have to know me in real life to think about searching for.  I’m a little freaked out.  If I suddenly password-protect everything, that’s why.  And if that happens, just e-mail me for the password.

Good Things Come in Threes

May 14, 2008

Yay!  Today is M’s and my third anniversary!  It started with M waking up to find his youngest son sharing the bed with us.  Again.  Things have got to get better soon.  In the meantime, I’m loving the snuggle time, that just feeling me close was enough to soothe him back to sleep last night.

In all the short spurts of sleep I got through the night, my mind managed to piece together a dream about a wedding.  I find this particularly coincidental because I hadn’t remembered what today was until I got a sweet e-mail from my husband a little while ago.  (I would have remembered eventually, I’m sure!)

I wish I could remember more from my own wedding day, though.  I remember lots, especially dropping the bomb of the baby growing in my belly on my sister just minutes before we walked down the aisle.  Hey, she asked, and I couldn’t lie to her.

I also remember how M and I were about to cry from the sappiness of the moment as I walked down the aisle–until the edge of my dress knocked over one of the aisle decoration thingies that had a lit candle on top.

Then I remember staring into M’s eyes through the rest of the ceremony.  It was like I didn’t even notice there were other people there watching me.

I felt like a princess that day, despite the nasty morning sickness that insisted on plaguing me even that special day, and M was the main reason for that, not even the perfect dress.  He made me feel so special.  I was clearly the only person in the room for him as well.

When my mom and I were doing wedding preparation stuff, the very first time we had to put down non-refundable money on something, she felt the need to encourage me to ignore my thrifty ways.  If my feelings changed between then and the wedding, even if it happened the day before, I needed to back out of the wedding without concern for all the cost or hassle involved.  She was worried that I’d knowingly make a mistake to avoid wasting money.

But I knew right then that I wasn’t making a mistake.  The day before the wedding came, then the day of the wedding, and not once did I question my decision to marry M.  And now, three years later, I still don’t regret it.  I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

If you’re reading today, M, happy third anniversary!

New Levels of Exhaustion

May 13, 2008

Thank goodness BabyN finally cut one of those teeth.  Now I’m just waiting for the other three (five?) to cut before life can get back to a semblance of normal.

I went to bed early last night, for good reason.  But I just lay there for forever unable to sleep.  I knew as soon as I did, BabyN would wake up crying.  Besides, it’s been crazy hot around here, even with the a/c cranked way down.  I keep waking up uncomfortable and sweaty when I do sleep.

I was right, and less than three hours after I finally dozed off, BabyN woke up crying.  I was so far out of it that his crying was a part of my dream at first, and it wasn’t until he had woken up PJ that I realized it was happening in real life.  So at four in the morning I was comforting two upset babies.

Last night I was lucky, though.  BabyN fell asleep while I was comfort-feeding him in bed (don’t judge me–I was desperate!).  I slept awful because of the uncomfortable position I was forced to hold for hours at a time, but at least I slept.  Well, between random itches that I tried not to scratch out of fear that the movement would wake BabyN.

Then I was able to move him to the playard by our bed where he slept another couple of hours, and then he slept another hour or so when I fed him later in the morning.

Altogether, I may have gotten about seven hours.  If they had happened all at once, I would be feeling pretty good today.  But because they were cobbled together a few minutes at a time, I’m dying for a nap today.  My head hurts again, for the fourth (fifth?) day in a row, and I ache everywhere.  Although, the aching could easily be from sleeping in uncomfortable positions instead of lack of sleep.

I’m hoping and praying that today goes very different from the last few days and BabyN decides to take a looooong afternoon nap.  I’m in desperate need of one myself.

But I’m looking on the bright side of things.  In the chaos of last night, BabyN finally sprouted one of those teeth that have been keeping him from sleeping.  Three to five more are imminent.  Most likely I don’t have more than a few more days of interrupted sleep before he crashes for days in relief from the pain.  At the very least, I can sleep then.

Oh, and even though he’s slightly behind his cousins of similar ages in physical milestones, he’s the only one with teeth.  He’ll have a whole mouthful before either one of them has sprouted even one.  It’s nice to know he’s precocious in something, right?

A Few Random Things

May 12, 2008

I’m starting to think BabyN’s teething is bothering me more than him.  At least he gets frequent dosing to help with the pain.  All I get is sleep deprivation.  Three of the last four nights, I’ve spent nearly two hours of my precious sleep time keeping him happy.  Yes, M let me sleep late this weekend, embarrassingly late, but it still isn’t enough.

Today I’m physically hurting from the lack of sleep.  I feel like I’m starting to get sick (my immune system is awesome until it gets compromised from lack of sleep), and naturally I’m grumpy.  I hate being like this, but I don’t know a way out of it.  Until at least a couple of those SIX teeth cut, he’s going to keep waking me up at insane hours, demanding comfort.  I am so ready for vacation, when his grandmothers get a chance to comfort him through the teething.  Less than two weeks now!

PJ has started acting very much like a 2-year-old, and I love it.  The tantrums are fewer as he can tell us better what it is he wants, so instead we just get to see his adorable personality.  Several times every day now, I catch myself looking at him in wonder that he is so funny.  Life with him is suddenly so exactly how I expected life with a 2-year-old to be.  I think when we make it to the other side of the tantrums, I’m going to discover I love him even more than I ever though possible, especially in the worst of the tantrum phase.

I totally had a million other mini-topics I wanted to write about today, but I suddenly can’t remember any of them.  I should start writing this stuff down.  Some of them might have actually been interesting.

Anyway, I hope all of you had great Mother’s Days.  Any of you get anything really special?  I mostly got a day without responsibilities, and most importantly, poopy diapers.  I’ll take that over roses or a card any day!