I’ve been meaning to do this for quite some time and am finally getting around to it. I don’t know about you, but I find it quite amusing to see what search terms bring people to my blog. (That’s one great advantage of wordpress over blogger since they don’t make you figure out how to do this yourself.) I thought I’d share some of the most common search terms today, especially the ones that make me giggle.
–afterthoughts: You’re not surprised? Oh, well. I’m just hoping it’s people looking for the store and not people googling me to avoid showing up in any greater detail on my stats (you know, to stay anonymous because I might know them or something). I’m the first non-commercial site listed when you google afterthoughts.
–two boys in one room (or bed): That gets people to this post. I highly suspect that this is not what they are looking for. I’m sorry, creepy people, but my two young boys sharing a room does not have the homosexual undertones that you included in your search. I can only hope that I’m misinterpreting this and instead encouraging other mothers of two boys to let them share a room.
–elmer fudd sounds: Why do people search for this? Do they want an audio clip of Elmer Fudd speaking? I’m sure this is not what they had in mind.
–throat is on fire (or frog in throat): Are they looking for a diagnosis? Or a treatment plan? If so, all I can say is GO SEE YOUR DOCTOR. I can only offer sympathy.
–boobs full of milk (or milk-filled boobs): I really don’t think I have what they’re looking for here. You see, I’m really not into posting pornographic pictures of my lactating breasts. Just…ewww. (By the way, I’m also in the top few hits for these searches as well–just behind Dooce, if you can believe it.)
–many different pregnancy complaints: I wish I had written down some of the more interesting ones when they were still on my blog stats page. I guess I complained enough while I was pregnant to offer sympathy to women with any number of pregnancy complaints. The ones on my blog stats page right now are “sore hips in third trimester” and “progesterone shots advice.” Guess what, girls? All those complaints (most of them anyway) are totally normal! And if you don’t believe me, why don’t you ask your doctor instead of just googling it? Or, if you’d rather, you can e-mail me, and I’ll look it up in my trusty What to Expect book and verify it for you.
–birth announcement etiquette: I think sometimes they’re looking for the etiquette to respond to a birth announcement too. I’m afraid I’m not much help, since the post they find is looking for advice as well. Since posting this, though, I have learned that there isn’t really a set etiquette for either sending birth announcements or responding to them, not like wedding invitations. You send the announcements to people you think would be interested in knowing you’ve had a baby, and you reply however you want. The new mother would certainly welcome a gift, but the odds are good that she’s forgotten everyone who got an announcement anyway in her post-partum haze and won’t miss a gift from you.
—retile a kitchen floor: This is my absolute favorite search term to show up. It’s also the most popular search term right now. Why is it so funny? Imagine that you’re a young husband wanting to impress his wife by retiling his own kitchen floor. You don’t have a clue where to begin, so instead of going to Lowe’s or Home Depot for advice, you google it. In the first five hits, you stumble into this page. Go read it and you’ll see why I have to hide my evil, maniacal laughter thinking of a poor, unsuspecting young husband finding this by accident. Bwahahahaha! No kids for you!