Tomorrow PJ turns three, so today was his last session with ECI. The last three times she has seen PJ, he was at school, so I hadn’t had a chance to talk with her in quite some time. Her observations of PJ at school are quite interesting. Something she said in particular enlightened me as to PJ’s primary problem.
You may remember the words that people continue to say about him are “his own agenda.” He struggles with doing anything that does not follow his own agenda, whatever it is that he has in mind to do. The ECI teacher was using one example of something she saw at school, and I realized that it was exactly like something I would do.
M actually gets a little annoyed by it. If I decide I’m going to go take something to the trash or put something in the dishwasher or change clothes or something, I get really aggravated if he attempts to distract me. Until I have accomplished my purpose, I am not open to a hug or kiss or looking at whatever he’s reading on the computer. I have to fight physically pushing him away.
If I imagine I’m three instead of almost thirty, I can understand why PJ would just ignore me when I try to distract him from his purpose or why he would throw tantrums when he can’t do what he wants–no, needs–to do. He can’t control it as well as I do (which really isn’t that well when I think about it) and doesn’t understand why he feels that way.
I’m not sure yet how to react to him when he’s focused on doing something that is not what he should be doing at the moment, but at least I know how he is feeling. I can treat him more like I would want to be treated and remember that he isn’t (usually) deliberately misbehaving. It’s just the way his brain works.
The ECI teacher also helped explain why BabyN doesn’t crawl normally yet. It isn’t a lack of muscle tone or even a sensory issue like I’d worried about. He’s just so limber in his hips (ironically, since the pregnancy with him permanently messed up my hips) that it’s more natural for him to keep his legs spread. He actually struggles to keep his legs together the way you need to to be able to crawl. That’s probably simply out of habit, she says, and is against what feels natural to him. It’s possible he’s even double-jointed in his hips. Since he’s pulling up and cruising just fine, though, it’s not really a big deal that he doesn’t crawl right.
M and I both agreed that we’re going to miss PJ’s ECI teacher. I doubt the special ed teachers will be quite so helpful to BOTH our kids when he starts there (if he ends up qualifying). I’m afraid his transition out of ECI will be what I mourn most about his third birthday tomorrow.
Oh! The costumes! I’ve been looking all weekend and still have no brilliant ideas. Right now I have two plans, sort of. Plan A will be if I don’t need a circus-themed costume for BabyN. (I would probably need one if I go to school to help with Circus Day and bring BabyN with me.) PJ will just wear his peanut costume from last year. It’s cute and original but still fits the theme, and most of all, is cheap. I could then get any two coordinating (or not, whatever) costumes that I want for the boys to wear for trick-or-treating.
Plan B is to start planning from scratch because I need two circus-themed costumes after all. Clowns? Monkeys? Lions and tigers? Even a seal? I don’t know. I think the hard part is coordinating something as well as making it at least somewhat original. And it definitely has to be a costume I can find. I am simply not crafty enough to put something together myself.
And on that note, it’s about time for me to start baking the treats I’m making for PJ’s class tomorrow. I decided on something cookie-like that isn’t quite cookies. It’s from a box in the baking aisle, and all I need to add is butter and water. I should be able to handle that, I hope. I’ll let you know how that goes tomorrow.