I’m hoping I’m just sensitive, that maybe it’s hormones. I’m hoping I’m reading into what was said and that the remarks weren’t meant to be hurtful and cutting.
It was when M came home for lunch. I joked about how I’d left the clothes in the dryer since Sunday but that I really was going to get to them today. He said something along the lines about how that was about as likely as finding the toilet paper roll had turned gold, in a teasing tone of voice of course. What is that saying about there always being a grain of truth in a joke like that? I already feel sensitive enough about it because I hate when I procrastinate on household chores. I feel like I’m letting him down as well as myself, and having him point it out, much less make a joke out of it, only makes the guilt worse.
There was another comment during the same half hour that started with, “Now don’t get offended…” Of course that meant I was going to get offended. At least this one wasn’t about what I do about the house, but it was a thinly veiled insult.
M isn’t normally like this. He’s the one who reassures me when I start feeling down on myself, who is my biggest fan. If he ever makes jokes about me, they’re totally silly and something that I’m in on (like when he would call me fat in front of people while I was pregnant).
That’s why I don’t want to bring it to his attention. He’d be hurt if he knew he’d hurt me, and it would only be worse if he was forced to admit to himself and me that there was some truth behind the hurtful comments.
And the best-case scenario would be to discover that I am just overly hormonal today and was taking his comments out of context and blowing them out of proportion.