All Over the Place

No, I’m not dead.  I just haven’t felt like making time to blog, what with being sick for over a week, starting my first definite period since BabyN (and no, the IUD does NOT make it lighter or shorter), and being out of town for Thanksgiving.  Heh, I just summarized the last two weeks for you.

In other news…

–I’ve decided on BabyN’s new name on the blog.  You might recall I’ve been agonizing over this for some time, and I had a moment of enlightenment last week.  M’s family got a real kick out of how BabyN crawls, scooting around on his butt, and several of them started calling him Scooter.  I pray to God the name doesn’t stick, but it makes for a cute name to call him on here.  So from now on BabyN will be called Scooter.

–Thanksgiving went okay, even though we were spending the holiday itself with M’s family.  My parents were invited to the big family dinner, and they came since they had no other plans for the day.  They helped both of us keep our sanity.  Scooter screamed bloody murder most of the time since we ended up getting there right at naptime and there was nowhere to put him to sleep.  My back still hurts from all the carrying I had to do that day to keep him somewhat happy.  He also wouldn’t go to anybody else pretty much the whole week.  I love that he’s that attached to me, but it would have been nice to get a little break every so often.

–On the bright side, both boys charmed everyone (even Scooter through all the screaming).  PJ started talking way more, too, saying some of the cutest things.  He was showing off like crazy.  Now he keeps asking if we’re going to go see his grandparents today.

–We found out on Thanksgiving that my little brother’s wife is pregnant again (the ones we’ve had personality conflicts with in the past).  Their two little ones will be just a couple of weeks closer together than ours.

This brings up all sorts of conflicting emotions in me, and I’m not quite sure how I feel about it.  If it was my older brother, I’d be thrilled for them.  I hate that because of past hurts they caused, I can’t just be happy about it and move on.

I think a lot of it is the sense of competition they bring about.  If we have something, they have to have something better.  Last year, they had both just gotten brand-new expensive phones–and then complained about how poor they were and could never afford anything and needed help buying even clothes for their little girl.  He had to get a better camera than my older brother, who is a professional photographer, and again complained about how they had no money.

Now we find out they’re looking at a new car.  Instead of finding something larger to make life easier with two children, they are going to buy a luxury car, one that starts at $40K for a base model.  It’s better than the luxury car my dad has, the one he saved up his whole life to get.  If I hear one thing about how poor they are at Christmas, I think my head just might explode.  I just hope they really are doing that well to be able to afford all these luxuries and that this is my jealous side getting to me.

But I wonder if rushing into a second child this soon (yes, I’ll admit we rushed into a second one too) is not their way of competing with us, trying to have more children faster than we are.  It sure pricks my competitive spirit, making me want to rush into having another baby, purely to prove we’re better baby-makers than they are.  In every other way, I’m not ready for another.  It’s stupid to have even let myself think about having another baby when we’re not ready just because I want to compete in a stupid competition that probably doesn’t exist.  That’s why I hope they’re not doing the same.

More than likely I’m just projecting my own sickest, most embarrassing emotions onto them, thinking that they can be as awful as I can be deep inside.  That’s why when we see them at Christmas, I will act like I’ve never thought they could be capable of such feelings.  They will just be my lovable brother and his wife, and I will congratulate them on their success while suppressing those emotions I wish I wasn’t feeling.

–And that’s about all I feel like writing about today.  I went into the weird thing with my brother and SIL a lot more than I intended to, but I kind of needed to work it out for myself.  Tomorrow (if I can make myself blog), I’ll have to give the update on my nephew.  I hope all of you had a good Thanksgiving as well.  Now I’d better go start catching up on blogs.  That may take a while.

–Oh, yeah, thanks for all the suggestions on the last post.  I did get the next size in diapers to try it out, and both boys fit in them fine and we haven’t had one leakage incident since we upgraded.  I’m so thrilled that the solution was so simple, and now I feel silly for not thinking of it myself.  The pants problem hasn’t been resolved yet, as I haven’t had a chance to go shopping, but I have lots of ideas now.  I’m planning a trip to Old Navy soon, and will also be looking to see whether he can fit into 2T pants, as they tend to be skinnier than 24 months and sometimes 18 months too, or so I’ve heard.

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One Response to All Over the Place

  1. lilmomma says:

    You are having a period???All I did was once in a great while I spotted a day or two…fun glad you survived Thanksgiving take care…

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