It’s Not Fair

January 13, 2009

Today was my fifteenth day to work out on the Wii Fit.  It is always kind enough to tell me how many days it has been since I started working out.

It was also kind enough today to chew me out.  I now have three more pounds to lose than I did to begin with.

In two weeks, I have gained three pounds.  Insignificant, until you consider that I have been sticking carefully to a reasonable diet and working out diligently every day (except this weekend when I was struck with a breast infection–no bouncing for me!).

How can I eat less and burn more calories and still gain weight?  I know you gain some muscle mass at first, and that will temporarily boost your weight, but after two full weeks, shouldn’t it be tapering off at least a little?  Not be a full pound heavier than yesterday (while wearing fewer clothes and having had a very small breakfast two full hours ago)?

I’m utterly defeated.  I look at myself in the mirror and have to turn away.  Even my face is showing those extra twenty pounds.  None of my clothes can hide my pregnant-looking belly.  I feel like I look hideous, and I can’t understand how M can tell me I’m beautiful and hot with a straight face.

Speaking of M, he started watching what he eats around the same time I did.  He has cut the majority of the sugar out of his diet (but less than I have) and exercised once or twice for half the time I do every day.  He has lost those three pounds I have gained.  Doing almost nothing.  Tell me how that’s at all fair.

I’m tempted to just give up, throw the stupid Wii Fit out with the trash.  If only I could accept this new, unhealthy, unattractive me, then I might be able to do just that.  But I miss the old, healthier, skinnier version of me.  I know I’ll never look like I did before I had kids, but what I have turned into is unacceptable.

But there is nothing I can do to change that right now.  If exercise and diet don’t work, what’s left?  Why should I put myself through all the pain the exercise is bringing me and spend an hour a day doing something I don’t want to do if it’s only going to make me feel worse about myself?

Has anyone else had problems with this?  Please tell me I’m not the only anomaly out there who defies the weight-loss rules.