It’s Not Fair

Today was my fifteenth day to work out on the Wii Fit.  It is always kind enough to tell me how many days it has been since I started working out.

It was also kind enough today to chew me out.  I now have three more pounds to lose than I did to begin with.

In two weeks, I have gained three pounds.  Insignificant, until you consider that I have been sticking carefully to a reasonable diet and working out diligently every day (except this weekend when I was struck with a breast infection–no bouncing for me!).

How can I eat less and burn more calories and still gain weight?  I know you gain some muscle mass at first, and that will temporarily boost your weight, but after two full weeks, shouldn’t it be tapering off at least a little?  Not be a full pound heavier than yesterday (while wearing fewer clothes and having had a very small breakfast two full hours ago)?

I’m utterly defeated.  I look at myself in the mirror and have to turn away.  Even my face is showing those extra twenty pounds.  None of my clothes can hide my pregnant-looking belly.  I feel like I look hideous, and I can’t understand how M can tell me I’m beautiful and hot with a straight face.

Speaking of M, he started watching what he eats around the same time I did.  He has cut the majority of the sugar out of his diet (but less than I have) and exercised once or twice for half the time I do every day.  He has lost those three pounds I have gained.  Doing almost nothing.  Tell me how that’s at all fair.

I’m tempted to just give up, throw the stupid Wii Fit out with the trash.  If only I could accept this new, unhealthy, unattractive me, then I might be able to do just that.  But I miss the old, healthier, skinnier version of me.  I know I’ll never look like I did before I had kids, but what I have turned into is unacceptable.

But there is nothing I can do to change that right now.  If exercise and diet don’t work, what’s left?  Why should I put myself through all the pain the exercise is bringing me and spend an hour a day doing something I don’t want to do if it’s only going to make me feel worse about myself?

Has anyone else had problems with this?  Please tell me I’m not the only anomaly out there who defies the weight-loss rules.

One Response to It’s Not Fair

  1. Kristin says:

    I’m sorry to hear about your frustration. It’s so defeating when you are trying and nothing seems to be working. And I know as a mom how important it is to feel like your “old self” again. But this is where having a personal trainer as a blog friend can come in handy 🙂

    The key to weight loss really is the Law of Thermodynamics – calories in vs calories out. By reading your post, I think you can refine some things here and there to balance that equation some more.

    – Figure out your Basal Metabolic Rate (Google will help you with that). Eat about 100 cal less than that, but not too much more.

    – Keep a food journal. You’ll be surprised at what you eat (and don’t eat) and it will help you pinpoint problems (cravings, etc).

    – Do more intense training, including weight lifting (easily done at home with 10 lb free weights). I’ve never worked out on wii, but I have seen the demos. Bill has been trying to convince me to get one. I don’t think it’s effective enough and it’s more of a time waster. The only good workouts seem to be yoga.

    – Stay off the scale and focus more on inches. Since I’ve been working out in the gym, I’ve only lost 5-8 pounds but I’ve dropped 2 pant sizes. Numbers aren’t everything.

    I hope that helps! Just keep being active and paying attention to your nutrition – don’t give up. Re-evaluate after 4 – 6 weeks to see how you’re doing. 🙂

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