Following Up

July 21, 2008

By some miracle, I seem to have avoided a full-blown case of mastitis.  After posting that on Saturday, the very next time BabyN ate, he sucked the clog right out.  It was just tender for a little while afterwards, and now it’s fine.  And Jessica, I’d heard the cabbage thing before, but since I’d never tried it, I’d forgotten about it.  If I have the boob issues again, I’ll definitely have to try it.

We’ve also been working with PJ on keeping the sheets on his bed, but it’s still not happening.  I’m struggling between resolve to stick to my word about refusing to give him any of his comforts for bed and feeling too mean about it.  I can’t decide whether this is a battle worth fighting.  M assures me that it is; we’re both sick of making his bed twice a day every day.  If he knows better–and he does–then he should be able to exert at least that little bit of self-control.

I just feel like I’m bordering on child abuse by making sleep on a bare mattress with no blankets or anything (not that he needs them in this heat).  We relented several times this weekend and gave him back some of his confiscated comforts, although not all of them, and I doubt it was a good decision.  I wish I could find a compromise I felt comfortable with, something harsh enough to teach him a lesson but that doesn’t make me feel heartless.

By the way, tomorrow BabyN turns ten months.  I think it’s high time to retire his nickname I’m using here, since he’s only barely a baby anymore.  I’m having a creative brain fart as to good nicknames to replace BabyN, though, so I’m hoping I can appeal to you guys for some help in the creative department.  Do you have any suggestions for something new and more mature I can call him here?  All suggestions are welcome, and the odds are good that I’ll end up choosing from them, since I have no ideas of my own at the moment.


Confession Thursday: It’s Back

July 17, 2008

Were any of you around long ago, when back in the first few months of my blog I started something I called Confession Thursday?  It was my chance to be brutally honest about myself, a quality I quickly became known for.  It didn’t take long for every day to look like a Confession Thursday, so I quit doing it.

I’ve decided to resurrect it today, quite possibly only for today, as a way to lighten the mood here.  Counterintuitive?  Probably.  But that’s what makes it work.

So in no particular order, here are the silly things I’m typically too embarrassed to admit to anyone:

–I watch too much TV, although not nearly as much now as I used to.

–I don’t cook.  I wish I was any good at it, or even that I liked it, but it’s not happening.  An impressive meal from me is one that requires the oven at all, even if it came out of a box.

–In the evenings, M and I spend quality time together over a computer game.  Oh, but that’s not all; it gets way nerdier.  The game is World of Warcraft, quite possibly one of the nerdiest games of all.  And I love every second of it.

–I didn’t skip classes much at all in college.  If I did, I had a good reason to do so.  In fact, I actually enjoyed chapel, the most skipped part of the day for the majority of the campus.  Sometimes I still miss that part of college.

–Even through my single days I sometimes slept with the blankie I had as a comfort object as a child.  I still have the blanket (what’s left of it), but it sits high on a closet shelf where nobody will discover it.

–I’ve got whiskers, chin hairs, whatever you want to call them.  They’ve gotten much worse since popping kids out, and I now have to pluck nearly every day.  I’m going to be one of those old women, whose grandkids don’t want to kiss her because her whiskers tickle their cheeks.

–I have at least one book on my shelf simply because I feel like any good English teacher (even former English teacher) should have a copy for appearance’s sake, even though I’ve never read all the way through it and don’t intend to.

–I hate veggies.  Every so often I choke down a few to be a good example for my kids (or to let my mother think I eat them because she watches me do so), but my diet and that of my whole family is generally greatly lacking in veggies.  Lettuce and tomato on a hamburger don’t count, do they?  Or tomato sauce on a pizza?  (Oh, wait, that’s a fruit anyway, I think.)

–Ever since the last trimester of the pregnancy with BabyN, I’ve gotten lazy about shaving my legs.  At first it was logistics; how exactly was I supposed to keep them smooth when I couldn’t reach them around the belly?  Now I just don’t care enough to take care of that more than once a week, and sometimes less often.  Back before kids, I usually shaved every two-three days during the summer (but you couldn’t hold me accountable for them during winter when they stayed covered all day every day).

I think that’s enough for today.  I’ll be thinking of more for another go at Confession Thursday in my future.  But what about you?  What’s the most embarrassing thing you don’t usually tell other people?

A Few Random Things

May 12, 2008

I’m starting to think BabyN’s teething is bothering me more than him.  At least he gets frequent dosing to help with the pain.  All I get is sleep deprivation.  Three of the last four nights, I’ve spent nearly two hours of my precious sleep time keeping him happy.  Yes, M let me sleep late this weekend, embarrassingly late, but it still isn’t enough.

Today I’m physically hurting from the lack of sleep.  I feel like I’m starting to get sick (my immune system is awesome until it gets compromised from lack of sleep), and naturally I’m grumpy.  I hate being like this, but I don’t know a way out of it.  Until at least a couple of those SIX teeth cut, he’s going to keep waking me up at insane hours, demanding comfort.  I am so ready for vacation, when his grandmothers get a chance to comfort him through the teething.  Less than two weeks now!

PJ has started acting very much like a 2-year-old, and I love it.  The tantrums are fewer as he can tell us better what it is he wants, so instead we just get to see his adorable personality.  Several times every day now, I catch myself looking at him in wonder that he is so funny.  Life with him is suddenly so exactly how I expected life with a 2-year-old to be.  I think when we make it to the other side of the tantrums, I’m going to discover I love him even more than I ever though possible, especially in the worst of the tantrum phase.

I totally had a million other mini-topics I wanted to write about today, but I suddenly can’t remember any of them.  I should start writing this stuff down.  Some of them might have actually been interesting.

Anyway, I hope all of you had great Mother’s Days.  Any of you get anything really special?  I mostly got a day without responsibilities, and most importantly, poopy diapers.  I’ll take that over roses or a card any day!

You Can’t Fool Me

April 1, 2008

I must not forget today is April Fool’s Day.  I’m too gullible.  Google already almost got me twice, first with gmail, then with blogger.  I’m just glad I figured out the hoaxes before they officially announced them as such.  Maybe I’ll get creative and come up with a good one to play myself later.

Any of you have good stories to tell of past April Fool’s experiences?

Toddler Talk

March 27, 2008

I’m so excited!  PJ is talking more than ever, and I am understanding him!  Well, most of the time anyway.  This morning, I got Patrick out of bed, and he immediately told me, “Hi!”  As he walked out of his room, he told me he needed to “Say baba” (change diaper) because it was “poopy.”  It was, and I knew that before ever grabbing a clean diaper for him.  Then when he was naked, he told me he wanted a diaper “backon” (he says it like it’s one word).  A little while later, he put his boots on and headed for the back door, informing me he wanted to go “batside.”  He wanted “cookies” for breakfast but settled for “cheeyas” (Cheerios).  When he wanted bites of my cereal, he nicely asked for a “bye, peas” (bite, please).  (Boy was that one funny last night when he wanted a bite of his brother’s peas.  It wasn’t so funny to him when I gave him one.)  He didn’t want his water sippy with breakfast, so he asked for his “ju sippy.”

After breakfast, he peed in his diaper and immediately after informed me that he “wago potty.”  We’re still working on the timing there, but at least he connects peeing with the potty.  He told me, “All done,” when he was done trying and then “lalala” to remind me he got an M&M for trying.  When he pooped in his diaper a few minutes after that (yes, making it three diapers already this morning), he warned me by telling me “poopy” again.  He has also addressed his brother earlier by telling him something in baby talk followed by “Gaga,” his name for BabyN.

It’s just astounding to me that he is communicating effectively with me.  We’re having fewer tantrums because he is getting his needs taken care of (and it’s been long enough since his grandparents have been here).  The only problem is that he has also finally figured out the word “no” and is repeating it all day long.  Yes, we’ve entered that stage.  On the other hand, though, he is finally starting to answer my questions that I have persisted in asking, even when I expected a blank stare from him.

Speaking of questions, I’m hoping some of you are still planning to take me up on my offer from yesterday to ask me anything you want.  I’m desperate for good material here!  There’s only so much I can write about all of PJ’s new words, and I know you want to read even less.  I guess if our lives were more interesting, I wouldn’t have this problem, but there’s something to be said for a life that’s not overly exciting.

Sometimes I Love Being Right

March 26, 2008

Back when I was pregnant with BabyN, I wrote something on the other blog about how sweet PJ was getting.  One of the few phrases he was repeating at the time was “It’s okay,” something we always told him when he was upset.  It was just one of those things that when said in the right voice calmed him down from even the nastiest head bump.  I thought it was sweet that he repeated that phrase of all things, and sometimes even to me (after accidentally hitting me or something).  I remember writing something about how I hoped he would be as sweet to his baby brother and tell him “It’s okay” when he cried.

I knew how likely that was, though.  PJ doesn’t share attention well, and I fully expected him to be jealous of his little brother.  When he all but ignored BabyN for the first month or so, I decided my unspoken expectations were what really happened.  No big deal–at least he wasn’t antagonistic.

Then he started noticing his brother and doing sweet things to BabyN because he liked the reaction he got from us.  He would pat his head or boop his nose while around us, but I suspect he was wondering what would happen if he hit him instead.

Fast forward to the last few days.  BabyN starts crying, usually from teething, and PJ is quick to comfort him.  The cutest was after he accidentally hit BabyN with a toy and BabyN started screaming.  PJ walked up to where I was trying to calm him down and patted his head while saying, “You’re okay, you’re okay.”  Amazingly, BabyN calmed down.

We’ve thought we’ve heard PJ talking to BabyN at night as well when he’s started crying, but this was the first time I had seen such outward comforting happening.  It was obvious PJ felt bad about the accident and wanted to help make sure his brother was okay.  It was amazing to me that something I had written months ago had just happened.  Something that was more of a wish than a prediction actually happened.

I love this stage of the boys’ relationship.  BabyN admires PJ, possibly more than M or me.  He’s always watching his brother and laughing at his antics.  PJ is also protective of his little brother, even when he’s stealing all the attention.  He may ignore him most of the time, but I’ve noticed that he’s really keeping an eye out for him, even when it looks like he’s ignoring him.

I know this wonderful stage where my boys actually like each other won’t last forever.  All too soon we will enter the days of fierce sibling rivalry, and the sweet moments between them will be few.  I ought to get plenty of video of the two of them interacting in this phase so that I can prove to them they really did love each other at one point when they turn into surly preteens who hate each other.

Okay, on to something entirely different.  I’m feeling myself sliding into another blogging slump, and I’d like to avoid that if at all possible.  So I’m going to steal an idea I’ve seen many of you do before.  Are there any questions you’d like to ask me?  What things are there you’ve wanted to know and I’ve somehow avoided blogging about?  I’ll answer just about anything, so ask away.

Putting Sexy in Perspective

March 19, 2008

Yeah, so I changed the look again.  It’s been forever since I started over with this blog, and I had some cute pictures to show off…so there you go.  I also decided the dark look I’d had for months needed to be brightened.  Now I can write about sad and depressing stuff and it won’t feel nearly as bad because look!  I have cute baby pictures at the top!  With a cute, happy font!  It says that I’m really happy after all and totally in love with my new baby (which I totally am…how could you not be? Look at him!), regardless of the complaining you’re reading.

So commence complaining…

Okay, don’t laugh at me.  Or do, I don’t really care.  A week or so ago, M and I were enjoying a new pre-nookie activity.  He took some pictures of me done up in one of my few pieces of lingerie.  It was fun, and the two of us got to laugh at me trying to act sexy and feeling self-conscious about it.  Unfortunately the camera’s flash was acting finicky, though.  When I downloaded those pictures the day before his parents got here (I could just see myself downloading those to show them new pictures of the boys and giving his mom an eyeful), I discovered just how bad they really were.  You could barely see me because of how washed-out the lighting made me.  I went through and deleted them all.

But that doesn’t mean I didn’t see plenty before hitting the delete key with such eagerness.  What my husband called sexy and hot was in reality disgusting.  Isn’t it amazing how much more cameras can catch that you can’t–or refuse to–see in the mirror?  My face looked about as embarrassed as I felt.  My body was…chunky.  The only shape to it came in the form of those huge lactating boobs.

Now I’m not a large woman; I think I’ve made that clear before.  I’ve been blessed with a small frame and excellent metabolism.  After BabyN’s birth, I bounced right back to my reasonable pre-pregnancy weight, and I’ve stayed there since.  But motherhood has forever changed the shape of my body.  My hips are wider, my butt flatter (not round and perky like it used to be), and my belly flabbier.  While I mentally expected these changes, it was totally different to see them all put together on my body in those pictures.

Since then, I’ve been very self-conscious.  My husband may love what motherhood has done to my body, but I don’t.  I’d assumed that because my weight bounced right back that I looked pretty much like I used to.  Sure my belly has a little extra skin and stretch marks, but that’s it, right?  Not even close.  Now even while I hold and love on my sweet baby that I wouldn’t trade for the world, I mourn the price I paid to have him.

I’m doing my best not to let it bother me, though–even when it obviously does.  This is something I can do something about after all.  While I work on accepting my body the way it is, I will also be working to tone it a little bit, get rid of that flab on my belly and re-round my butt.  Any day the joint pain is under control at all, I’m working out.  M and I are going to do something together, as he’s anxious to lose a few pounds as well.

Does anybody have any good ideas for a workout DVD we should try?  I had great success with tae bo several years ago, so I’ve been looking at that again, but I’m open to other suggestions as well.  Anything to start feeling a little better about myself.

Of course, the last time M and I started working out together, I found out I was pregnant a week later.  But history doesn’t repeat itself, right?  Right?