Where Is Everyone?

March 19, 2007

I hate to start off sounding whiny, needy, and pathetic, but I am certainly all three tonight. I know it’s the weekend and nobody is around in Blogworld on the weekends, but I really needed the support this weekend.

Now I’m not only worried about the UTI causing problems with the pregnancy, but the medicine is making me super sick. I’ve never been as nauseous as I was this morning. I am sore everywhere from all the retching. And I’m terrified tomorrow morning will be a repeat. I was truly physically incapable of caring for PJ much of the day. I’m glad M was around and willing to take up the slack (I think I scared him a little this morning when he saw how sick I was), but he can’t take the week off work to take care of us.

I am faced with the prospect of truly needing help during the day. I’ve limped along so far, even though this was a worry all along. Despite thinking about what to do if this situation ever happened, I still have no solutions. I’ve never felt more isolated and helpless. I have nowhere to turn. For once, asking my in-laws for help is looking like a great idea, but they wouldn’t be able to help before next weekend at the earliest. By then, I’ll be done with this medicine and the morning sickness will probably be easing up at last. The help will be too little, too late. I just wish I knew what to do.

At Least It’s an Explanation

March 16, 2007

Just when I think my life is settling back into boring, something else decides to crop up. I was especially excited at how completely normal my appointment was on Monday, at how normal this whole pregnancy has been, even considering the overwhelming morning sickness.

Then my phone rang during lunch today quite unexpectedly. It was my doctor’s office. I knew as soon as the nurse (receptionist?) identified herself that it was not good news. Just like last time, I have a urinary tract infection. I only get them when I’m pregnant apparently. I don’t think I mentioned that the UTI (the second one in particular) from last time is what I attribute some of the never-ending nausea to. The antibiotics the first time made me so much sicker that I had to stop working toward the end of the round of antibiotics. By the time I got the second round of antibiotics a month later, I could not even choke down one of those huge pills. When my doctor heard about my problems taking the pills, she agreed to let me try flushing it out with cranberry juice. Fortunately, it worked, keeping me out of the hospital on IV antibiotics.

Naturally, I’m worried the antibiotics will make me even more nauseous again and possibly trigger another pill aversion this time. I asked the nurse whether I could try the cranberry juice thing again. It doesn’t hurt to ask, right? I wish I’d kept my mouth shut, though. I’m much more worried now that I’ve heard the doctor’s explanation why that won’t work this time. The bacteria causing the UTI is unusual; the doctor doesn’t see this kind of infection often at all. Not only is it resistant to cranberry juice, but it can also easily lead to a more severe infection that would most likely leave me hospitalized. I guess I’ll have to suck it up and try those antibiotics because I’ve been left with no choice.

The good news is that now I’ve been given an explanation about why the nausea has gotten worse instead of better in the last week or so. It’s almost certainly one of the few vague symptoms of the infection. I was also a little confused about why I had a mysterious fever the other afternoon. I think I’ve figured that one out now. It’s not good at all that I have a complication, minor that it is, but at least we know now and can take measures to fix it. Finally, there’s something I can do proactively to combat the nausea.


March 15, 2007

We’ve been fighting with our Internet service provider since last week, and we’re no closer to having our problems fixed than we were then. M is nice enough to be making all the calls, and I can’t imagine how he has had the patience to deal with this. We have an unusual situation; we have a business cable Internet service at our residential home. M’s job depends on him having Internet service any time of day, even if he is at home, so they pay for our Internet and pay to have it upgraded to a business line. Theoretically, that means we have a faster connection, a more reliable connection, and better and more prompt service. Right now, that’s a no to all three.

When M calls to let them know we’re having problems, he gets the runaround. The customer service people have refused to give us the correct number to call since they refuse to help a business line customer either. They have given us the wrong number as well, instead directing us to a pay-per-use service.

Once M got in touch with the right people, they promised they’d send someone out right away. Three days and several calls later, they finally send that person out. M had to miss work to come home and let them in, as I was too sick to get up at the time. He told them what he thought the problem was and advised them to come equipped with an extra modem to trade with the one we already had. The technician instead messed with the stuff M had done, effectively reducing both our Internet signal and cable TV signal. He also didn’t have even a test modem with him. He had to leave last night to find a tester, finally determined M must be right, and left again. He didn’t have a replacement with him, so he assured us someone would be out today to trade out the modems.

I get wakened early this morning (already not a good thing) by my phone. M was calling to let me know the guy would be there in about five minutes. Even the thought of sitting up nearly made me puke, so I told him I really could not let him in right then. M had to come home from work again to deal with a technician. At least this one had a replacement modem. Unfortunately, it turned out that wasn’t the problem. We still barely have Internet right now, and our cable TV is still iffy. Someone different will have to come by later to check something different. This is turning into the never-ending problem!

To make matters worse, when the technician got here this morning, he made enough noise to wake PJ up, messing up his schedule for the whole day. PJ’s been fussy for no apparent reason, and I can’t even get him to sleep a good nap because he’s so over-tired. I’m still sick because I was awakened early and suddenly, and I can’t handle a screaming kid quite as well when I’m curled up on the couch trying not to puke. This has not been a good day, and I can’t wait until M comes home, as long as he will rescue me when he gets here.

I’m Sad

March 14, 2007

My mom left a few minutes ago to go home. I am left alone with my son again, and the idea scares me. I’ve relied on her help so much in the few days that she’s been here that I don’t know how to function without her around any longer. I can manage without the home-cooked meals every night, and even without the sparkling clean house. I cannot, however, play with PJ for endless hours while I feel like this. I hate that PJ has had such constant entertainment for the past four days and then today will have to go back to independent play most of the time. He’s made such progress since his nana got here, trying to say new words, standing on his own at last, and even acting like he might attempt his first few steps. Now I know we’re in for another stagnant period in his development until I’m able to give him the attention he deserves again.

I’m glad I had a few good days while my mom was here, but overall, things don’t seem to be getting better. I’ve been sick twice so far this week (with another one about to happen any minute now). Before the bad spell hit last week, I was averaging less than once a week. I am getting so tired of being nauseous all the time. Nothing has the power to distract me any longer, either. I would prefer to just lie in bed and whine all day until this passes, and my suddenly increased responsibilities are overwhelming me today.

Short on Posting Time

March 13, 2007

The doctor’s appointment went well today. I got taken off pelvic rest since I haven’t had any more issues with bleeding since that one Saturday, and even that one resolved itself. That means I am clear to hold my son again. I’m glad; he seems awfully attached to his daddy and nana right now since they’re doing most of the holding. I hope to get more of his affection again now that I’m not feeling quite as bad and am allowed to carry him around again.

Of course, getting cleared from pelvic rest means I’m also allowed to do something else that was forbidden during that time. My mom is very understanding and made herself scarce tonight, picking up groceries and ice cream just to give us some time alone. How sweet is she? I’m starting to wonder if my forced chastity was part of the reason I was feeling so gross sometimes, because all of a sudden I’m feeling better now. 🙂

A Thousand Words

March 12, 2007

They always say a picture is worth a thousand words, so here’s the first one I’ve ever given you:
This is me, at least the middle part of me. That big huge lump is the baby. That shirt is new, which means I left the house today. Which means I’m feeling much, much better. Oh, and that shirt is maternity. Just a reminder: that lump is only twelve weeks old. I’m such a freak to be wearing primarily maternity clothes at a mere twelve weeks. I think it’s about time to start supplementing my maternity wardrobe regularly, because it looks like I’m going to be wearing them for a long, long time.

Weekend Update

March 11, 2007

I’m feeling much better today, thank goodness. I even managed to shower! And put on real clothes! It’s weird to feel human again. I spent much of the afternoon outside, enjoying the perfect spring weather–and the fresh air. Even when the nausea returned when it came time to take my meds again, it wasn’t as bad as it has been the last two days. Unfortunately, I lost two pounds in the last two days from all the vomiting. This is not the best time to be losing weight, especially when I have a doctor’s appointment on Monday.

The good news is that my mom is here now. She’s at the grocery store (with PJ) finding stuff to make for dinner. As long as she doesn’t push me to do more than I’m capable of doing, things should be a lot easier for the next few days. She might also be able to pack a few pounds back on me before Monday.

Oh, that reminds me. I may not blog as much while she’s here. I know she knows about the blog, but I don’t want to tempt her into asking for the address by blogging in front of her or repeatedly checking my blogroll. It’s totally worth it to trade my blogging habit for having my mom around though, at least for a few days.

Should I Be Worried?

March 9, 2007

The nausea has most definitely escalated over the last few days. Last night and this morning, it’s been downright agonizing. I’m not sure whether to pray that I can puke again and get a few more minutes of relief afterwards or just pray for death. I’m scared to eat anything because it’s so much worse being sick with a full stomach. I’m truly beginning to worry something is wrong, and that’s why the nausea is suddenly worse instead of starting to ease up as it should be about now.

I remember one morning in particular last pregnancy when the nausea was the worst it ever got. That evening I went to the ER because of bleeding. I’m terrified of a recurrence this time.

Oh, yeah, the worst part? M feels awful right now too. I’m still taking care of PJ as normal because he claims he must feel worse than I do and can’t handle it. I depend on him to take up some of the slack, and instead he’s only creating more for me to do, now that I feel entirely incapable of doing anything.

My mom is coming to visit for a few days, starting tomorrow evening. I know she’s coming partly to help out around here while I feel bad, but I hate that she’s coming to such a messy house. We have laundry in all stages of being done (except folded and ready to put up), nasty bathrooms, an unbathed mom and kid, and trash that didn’t make it out to the curb in time for its pick-up this morning. I would love to take care of all of this at minimum before tomorrow afternoon, but I just don’t know whether I’ll be able to handle it feeling like this. I know my mom would be happy taking care of all of that (except bathing me…ew), but it feels wrong to have her show up to my messy house. I need to decide in the next few hours whether I’ll try pushing myself enough to clean up some of the things on my list. It’d be easier if I weren’t convinced that even trying would send me to the bathroom to puke repeatedly.

This and That

March 9, 2007

Thanks for all the support yesterday. I’m glad no one thought I overreacted to the anonymous commenter (or you were all afraid to say so…). Sorry for the late and lame post tonight. I feel incredibly gross today. In fact, I think this is the worst it’s been so far this pregnancy. It’s a miracle I haven’t puked repeatedly all day. The day isn’t over yet, though; I still suspect I’m in for a good vomit before bed.

Oh, yeah, and you can add to the awful nausea the onset of PJ’s terrible twos. They hit with a vengeance today after he woke up from his morning nap. I have never seen him throw a tantrum like that before. I almost wish I’d recorded it and posted it on the other blog just so everyone else could enjoy this wonderful milestone. The problem was that it was so darned amusing to watch him throwing himself around in his high chair to make himself look more pathetic that I couldn’t help laughing. When he saw he wasn’t getting the sympathy he was going for, he started screaming even louder. He actually went into such hysterics that there was nothing I could do to console him–until I pulled out a piece of cheese. I hate that I rewarded his horrible behavior with his favorite food, but he had gone so far out of control that it took desperate measures to get him back. He would have kept crying until he made himself sick otherwise. So how long exactly are these terrible twos supposed to last?

By the way, who else thought, “It’s about stinkin’ time,” when they heard Antonella was finally voted off? And is it just me, or did Sanjaya look as stunned as everybody else to find himself sitting with the top twelve? I think he gave up weeks ago and is now trying to get himself voted off. Apparently all he’d have to do is try one week and that would secure his position as an ex-competitor.

Stupid People

March 6, 2007

The last few days have not gone well, morning-sickness-wise. I don’t want to get into it right now, but it explains why I haven’t blogged anything worth reading. I haven’t actually puked, but that’s about all I can say.

I kind of want to blog a good rant about people and things they do that annoy me. I also kind of want to blog about something interesting that came up in a conversation with my mother. I think the stupid people blog is going to win tonight. I’m in a whiny mood…again.

First of all, I’m so tired of people quitting blogging. I know everybody has their own right to decide when their blog stops fitting into their life. But darn it, I get attached to the blogs and the people behind them. I feel like I’ve lost a friend every time another drops off the face of the (blog)world. The worst part is that some of the ones I’ll miss the most are the ones who never even knew I read in the first place. All my pleas for them to keep blogging would just seem weird since the friendship I feel is completely one-sided. It would just seem creepy for me to delurk at that point. I guess it’s time to find some new blogs to replace the dead ones in my blogroll. Anybody know of some good ones?

Why are people so afraid of change? I’m tired of people whining about the new blogger. It’s NOT that different from the old blogger. In fact, when I switched over (months and months ago), I hardly noticed any changes right away. If I didn’t kind of like some of the new features, I could have easily kept blogging exactly like nothing had changed–except for publishing time, of course. It bugs me even more when these change-aphobes decide using the new blogger isn’t worth it and look for a new hosting site altogether. Is it really worth putting up with all new changes to avoid the one or two tiny ones in blogger? If you insist on using technology, you will have to put up with frequent changes to everything you use. That’s the nature of the world we live in now, and just get over it.

Something else that’s been driving me crazy today is the media. I was watching a local news story about a teacher who supposedly sexually assaulted a student and got the distinctive feeling that something was amiss in the whole story. Apparently the teacher was caught red-handed (or topless, as the case may be), but they don’t think the child was actually her student. While it is possible she did commit the crime she is accused of, I hate that the media has already tried and convicted her. What if the teenager she was in the car with had told her he was over eighteen? What if he was blackmailing her about something? There are any number of situations that could prove her innocence, and I hate that any teacher is suspected of child molestation simply because they work with children. Granted, this teacher’s situation is much more suspect, but my experiences with teaching have proven that it doesn’t take a topless teacher to raise suspicion. It’s wrong for any teacher to feel uncomfortable hugging a student or being alone in a classroom with one. There are some sick kids out there–and sick parents–who are more than willing to bring suspicion on a teacher’s reputation if they think it will help their grades or popularity. It is wrong for any teacher to have to live with that fear just because they have seen it happen one too many times, and once is one too many times. Hmm, I guess I’m just as annoyed with the precarious position teachers find themselves in as the way the media portrays teachers as sex-hungry child-molesters. And you wonder why I’m so adamant about not going back into teaching…